iPhone6 Models Based On Penis Sizes Of Apple’s Largest Markets

September 10, 2014
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asian holding iphone

Apple has just announced the latest iPhone6 models will come in two sizes: 4.7 inches, and 5.5 inches.  The decision to finally produce larger-screen devices like their major competitor Samsung, despite steadfastly asserting smaller screens are more optimal, is likely motivated by the changing business environment.  IDC published a report, showing a tremendous 209.6% growth in the market for larger screens, versus a mere 12.8% growth for regular phones.  But is it possible the two iPhone 6 sizes were chosen based on the penis sizes of Apple’s two largest markets: Asia and The West?

A recent study by Ulster University professor Dr. Dr Richard Lynn and previous surveys conducted on this topic, found Asians averaging 4-4.5 inches in penis length, compared to 5-6 inches for North Americans and Europeans.  In fact, many western countries such as Spain, Canada, UK, and New Zealand, averaged exactly 5.5 inches, and nearly perfectly lining up with iPhone 6 sizes.

In December 2012, Jeffries analyst Peter Misek first suggested iPhone 6 prototypes with a singular, 4.8 inch model. For several months afterwards there was little mention of a second screen size until June of 2013, later solidifying in November 2013 when Bloomberg confirmed reports of two sizes in 4.7 inches and 5.5 inches.  Despite this, many believed the 5.5 inch was uncharacteristic of Apple and seemed unlikely.  Up until a week before Apple’s September 9 keynote, a 5.5 in version was still a possibility, while the 4.7 inch was nearly confirmed.

asian iphone customer

For Apple, 4.7 inches made perfect sense, especially in light of the growing importance of the Chinese market to Apple’s profits.  Tim Cook has made several visits to China, not only to see where his devices are built, but also to meet with government leaders and talk with the largely state-run mobile network operators such as China Mobile.  The Apple CEO has also gone on record saying how important the Chinese people are to Apple, not just in sheer customer count, but also the passion which asians show for the Apple brand, exemplified by how asians are predominantly the first in line at new iPhone  and iPad releases, in countries all around the world.  When designing a product, you want it to fit your best market.  4.7 inches is just slightly bigger than the average Chinese penis, as if to make a Chinese customer feel better, and distancing them further from the iPhone 5 size of 4 inches – the average length of other Asians such as Thais and Koreans; perhaps a rebuke by Apple of their main competitor Samsung’s home turf.

The 5.5 inch version may be a response to the feeling of inadequacy Westerners felt as more importance and focus were pointed at the growing economic power of China and other Asian markets.  Psychologists call this “compensation” – when you cover up the feeling of weakness with excellence or perceived strength, in other areas – most notably the often referred to compensation for small penis, in western culture.  Examples include a larger car, larger boat, larger gun, or larger of anything.  The trait is ironic because it is considered very American, yet Americans have larger penises than Asians.  As a final act one could deem over-compensating, the larger 5.5 inch variant will be called the iPhone 6 Plus – another deviation from traditional Apple naming conventions – as if to say the western penis is not just bigger, it is better.

So is it possible the new iPhone 6 models are designed with consideration for penis sizes?  The circumstantial evidence certainly points to a possible correlation.

iPhone6 Models Based On Penis Sizes Of Apple’s Largest Markets 8 votes

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