You Can Now Print Sex Toys at the UPS Store

December 3, 2014
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Though they might still be a little bit slow, 3D printers look awesome. The first time you saw one, you likely stared at the damn thing building something from scratch for much more time than you’d originally thought you would.

Of course, it’s also pretty expensive to own one, so for most people in need of developing functional prototypes, architectural models, props, or any other three-dimensional object, it might make a lot more sense to go print their specific item somewhere.

The UPS Store is one of these places. You just need to bring your digital file by any of their hundreds of locations with 3D printing available and they will accommodate your needs and print your item in a few hours — or up to a whole day, depending on its complexity — one layer at a time.

Let’s see, if you put any sex-obsessed person (roughly speaking, billions of individuals) in the world to the task of creating whatever shape their hearts — and other body parts — desire with a 3D printer, what do you think will happen?

Sex toy designs for 3D printers are nothing new. Some stores have offered customized dildos formed from laser scans of their customers’ dicks. There are even fully dedicated sites that host free designs for 3D printable sex toys; but having the freedom to do so on full display in the middle of the morning at your local UPS Store? That just has to be what the Founding Fathers had in mind with their own American dream, right?


According to a curious report on the Daily Dot, a UPS Store representative gave them a detailed list of what is and isn’t forbidden to reproduce at the UPS Store’s 3D printing service, and guess what? If your plan was to stop by on your way to the office with a USB drive and hand them your design for a gigantic black dildo to pick up after work, it is entirely permitted!

They do have severe rules about creating anything that resembles a weapon of any kind (perhaps the pointiest, sharpest sex toys are off limits, then?). Nuclear weapons, and missile and rocket systems are strictly prohibited, too. You’re also not allowed to print anything protected by the intellectual property of a third party without their written consent.

If it’s your own design of your perfect butt plug, though? Go bananas, buddy. You might get a couple of looks, frowns or uncomfortable giggles; but you’re making that baby from scratch right away, and there’s nothing anyone can do to prevent that.


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