Sex Toy Review: The Kiiroo Onyx and Pearl

“Oh, you got a new coffee maker?” my friend asked me as she noticed the sealed box inside my backpack. I just smiled and shook my head.

To be fair, it absolutely looks like a fancy portable machine, perfectly sized to produce the two cups of joe that I require to face my day. But while it may look capable of brewing some delicious caffeinated wonders, its intended use tackles a much different — albeit equally necessary — need.

You see, I had just stopped by the BaDoink office to pick up a product for review, and the box contained a brand new Kiiroo Onyx. A day-starter in its own right, the Onyx can’t produce a single beverage, but it can help you achieve a powerful orgasm that might energize your morning just as much.

If you’re a regular BaDoink reader, you might already be familiar with Kiiroo. Much more than just sex toys, the Amsterdam-based company created a platform and complementing devices that help you connect through an Internet or Bluetooth connection and actually allow you to feel your partner over the Internet.

Their teledildonics technology lets Kiiroo devices send and receive tactile data, which makes for a much more hands-on (literally!) experience when it comes to virtual sex. While a regular Skype (or any other video chat provider) sex session might still be fun as you watch and hear the other person, the possibility of actually feeling your partner is what makes Kiiroo special.

Sex Toy Review: The Kiiroo Onyx and Pearl

We’ve discussed Kiiroo before, but it was time to put these babies to the test and figure out how they worked in action. Kiiroo supplied us with an Onyx (the male masturbator; with a Fleshlight sleeve inside) and a Pearl (the female masturbator; a G-spot vibrator that sends data to the Onyx).

Since they’re marketed as tools for long distance Internet sex — and because it’s more fun — we decided to test that long distance factor in more realistic terms, so we recruited the lovely Lucie Blush at WeLoveGoodSex.com to do the Kiiroo experiment with me. She would be using the Pearl from Berlin, and I would be using the Onyx from Barcelona.

When you open the Onyx box, it’s hard not to feel like you’re about to use a fancy piece of technology. Everything about it looks classy. Aesthetically, it’s hard to beat Kiiroo. Its elegant design already makes you approach this device differently than you would most sex toys. A part of you sort of feels like this is almost too pretty to defile with your penis. I stared at the unused Onyx for a while, admiring its shiny surface while I plugged it in to charge.

Meanwhile, in Berlin…

“I received the Kiiroo Pearl in the mail,” Lucie Blush told me. “I have tried my fair share of sex toys and I have to say I’m not too keen on the fuzzy, pink rabbit heads rotating at the speed of light, so I was pleased to discover a nice, minimalistic, white dildo in a black velvet bag. I put it to charge on my computer thanks to the USB cable that was provided and checked out the five vibrating modes. That joystick is powerful indeed!”

Back in Barcelona, and a few hours after plugging it in, the solid LED light indicated a full charge and I proceeded to sign up into the platform. The devices connect to your computer via Bluetooth, in order to make it wireless. While the registration process is quick and easy, the process made me a bit anxious. I don’t know if it’s just me, but when I have a brand new sex toy, I kind of just want to stick my dick in it and figure anything else out later. But this is not a traditional sex toy, so a reluctant wait is in order.

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The Fleshlight sleeve is what you’d expect; soft and durable and made specifically for the Onyx. Once the device is fully charged, you just secure the sleeve inside and turn it on. A lot of lube is recommended.

Before trying it with Lucie, I gave it a solo test drive to get the basic mechanics. It couldn’t be simpler: It has only one button, which is used to change between manual and automatic modes. The manual mode is for either controlling your own masturbation rhythm, or to let the other person handle it (obviously depending on whether you’re flying solo or not). The automatic mode keeps a rhythmic pattern that contracts at the speed you set it, which can be either a slow or a fast pump.

Two things feel a little weird when using it by yourself, though. First, to work within the manual configuration, the motion needed is to swipe the shiny touch pad on the side of the Onyx. While that’s technically easier than your standard male masturbatory movement, it feels a little strange, though you do get used to it. You’re essentially learning to jack off in a different way.

The second thing that stands out is the sound. Hearing a steady vibration with a sex toy somehow feels normal, but a constant loud and mechanical sound gets a little distracting at first. The fast pump looks and sounds especially scary, but fear not; it’s completely safe and fun. I favor the fast pump over the slow one, hands down (really, hands down!).

So once we set up, all we had to do was join a connection. Through an invite button, you get a six-digit code and both people can access the conversation with it. Very easy, we could see each other already.

“The time came to have my exploratory Kiiroo sex session with Dan,” Lucie told us. “I knew he was excited too. Like two grandparents trying to figure out how to use Internet Explorer, we were enthusiastic and slightly confused. The online registration process went fine, except I hadn’t charged my Pearl long enough so we waited and caught up about our lives, before our sexperiment finally started.”

Sex Toy Review: The Kiiroo Onyx and Pearl

This part is important to note, because while this happened the platform worked steadily and without interruptions or delays, which made communicating a bit smoother than on Skype (in fact, post-Kiiroo, we continued chatting through the platform. It just felt comfortable).

“I first began stroking the dildo with my hand to test the reaction on Dan’s Onyx. I remember hearing the inside mechanics of his toy move as my fingers went up and down. Pretty cool!”

Pretty cool indeed! It’s a very odd feeling to see another person touching the dildo and being able to feel it on your penis. The Onyx’s rings contract as she touches the Pearl, so seeing it happen in real time is almost trippy. It’s a lot of fun to play with.

The Fleshlight sleeve feels very comfortable, and you pretty much just need to hold the device up and relax as the Onyx mirrors what the Pearl is doing.

“I inserted the toy inside me and I enjoyed the soft silicone texture,” Lucie said later, “But I quickly wondered about what my dildo could do. We searched the manuals and the web, only to realize that the Pearl only sends signals to the Onyx, but not the other way around. In other words, my pussy would not get any long-distance pounding.”

And that’s probably the biggest thing for Kiiroo to address with their next models. I, too, would like to provide long-distance pounding. I understand Kiiroo’s point of view in letting women be in control to start with, but part of that control comes with the reciprocity of sex. I also want to be able to manage what she can feel with her Pearl.

“I had fun trying it out but I wouldn’t bet on it to save a long-distance relationship,” Lucie said. “However, I would love to try it again when they have found a way to make the connection go both ways.”

Kiiroo is currently working on a device that does the reverse and simulates the thrusts on the Pearl, which would truly improve the feedback on long-distance relationships.

Having said that, it really depends on what your plans are for your Kiiroo use. For instance, sending tactile data only one way is a perfect set up for webcam models. With teledildonics technology on the rise, many cam girls are starting to see the potential of its use for interacting with their fans. Think about it… Instead of masturbating on their own while talking to the webcam girl of their choice, fans get to feel her touch, in real time, while watching and listening to her. The teasing element of webcam relationships in general takes a very real turn with the Kiiroo devices.

It’s easy to look for useful improvements and upgrades, but the fact remains the same: It’s pretty damn cool to feel another person’s touch in real time, and Kiiroo’s unique platform and devices are just starting out. Great things are ahead of us.