If you ever thought all those hours of masturbation you invariably accumulate are hindering your productivity and — even worse than that — if maybe you felt that your commitment to self-pleasure was a bit selfish and you should be doing something else with your time, a new wearable is here to help you rationalize your constant stroking into a way to give back to the planet.
Adult industry giant Pornhub has created the Wankband, a new wearable for your wrist that has a kinetic charger inside and stores electricity as it moves back and forth. That movement — typically the up and down motion that many will associate with male masturbation — can then be put to other uses to make your self-gratification moments seem even more useful.
The Wankband comes with a USB port, so you can plug your devices in and charge them with the power that you’ve created, effectively turning your sexual energy into sustainable electric one.
Pornhub’s angle has been on the eco-friendly options the Wankband brings, which is kind of a stroke (or many) of genius, as they market the Wankband as “the first gadget for the wearable tech era that allows you to love the planet by loving yourself.”
“At Pornhub we realize that by offering our users millions of hours of adult content, we are part of the problem, that’s why we’re going to show men how they can save the planet while doing what they do best,” Pornhub claims on their promotional video.
While this may sound like a small feat in the grand scheme of things, don’t underestimate the extra sense of accomplishment that will make any post-masturbatory haze a little more special and rewarding. Now it’ll be like you really worked for it.
Pornhub claims it works just as well for women and the wristband is completely unisex, although it isn’t clear if the different motion for clit stimulation will allow the same level of charge. A female version of the Wankband might be in order soon.
Promoting themselves with what already are classics like “Man Power”, “Stop Jacking Off; Start Jacking On”, “Create Dirty Energy” or “Do Your Part With Your Part”, The Wankband has already proven to be a pun machine, and we’re sure that won’t be the end of those.
The Wankband is currently still in its development stages, but on their website you can sign up to become a candidate for beta testing in the next few months.