Worst Things Men Can Do During Sex

January 19, 2014
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Despite what Hollywood movies want you to think, sex is never the neat and clean act that they like to portray. Sex is messy, wet and sometimes either party can do funny things like fart or accidentally be fucking your arm pit without knowing (not that I know anything about this). And men are under a lot of pressure to perform, so I understand that there can be some blunders in the bedroom. We get it, and we roll with it. However, there are a few things that can really kill the mood. Please don’t do these things:

mistakes men make in bed
I can’t believe where he just tried to put it!

Talk too much
Nothing gets the mood going like some clever dirty talk, but know when to shut up! Talking through the whole act or mumbling shit that she can’t hear and then she has to ask, “What did you say?” can really kill the mood.

Worse still talking about something mundane, like your day, or something you remembered in the office. Do that after sex. So take her cue and if she’s kissing you every time you open your mouth, shut up!

Going through the Moves
If you learned about sex through Monica from Friends then you might think that as long as you hit her 7 basic erogenous zones she’ll be good. Well, it’s a yes and no. Don’t work so hard on the moves that you ignore the actual woman! Be aware of her body language, her moans and her needs.

Not all women are the same. You might be doing something that is turning her off.

Offering critique
No matter how nicely (or constructively) you think you’re critiquing her technique, don’t do this. There is nothing wrong with telling her if you don’t like what she’s doing, “More to the left,” or “Not there, higher,” but telling her that her technique is wrong and that she should be more like your ex will do nothing for you in the bedroom son.

Say another name
I think this is pretty much self explanatory.

Thank her
Once after sex a guy actually thanked me! I know you might be feeling so damn grateful that someone just had sex with you, or maybe you’re just the polite kind, but don’t thank her after sex! You’re not desperate are you? And we both went at it consensually, we’re not doing you any favors. No need to thank us! Geez!

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  1. You forgot to mention commenting her physique or not getting it up – so embarrassing for both!

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