Weird Sex News VIII: The Green, Green Grass

Our Weird Sex News broadcasts – live every Thursday on Periscope – are getting weirder, sexier and… erm… newsier as each week passes.

… and haven’t the first eight weeks just flown by! We’ve only become more popular as each show has gone to air. With all shows now being uploaded to our YouTube channel you can now catch up on any you may have missed.

This week we took a look at deadly kissing, a porn star running into some problems on a talent show and a man who just can’t enough bush! Below the video is the transcript for the show too.

We’re always looking for suggestions and tips for stories, or indeed anything you think is worth covering. Happy viewing and weird sex newsing!

KISS OF DEATH?

As if life wasn’t dangerous enough already. You can’t go a day now without some white-coat wearing madman telling you what’s bad for you and cause you cancer. It seems that after running down smoking, boozing, eating meat, breathing, looking at pelicans, thinking about dust mites, wearing blue shoes, imbibing vast amounts of ink and wrestling sharks, medical science has determined a new potential cause of one of the world’s most fearsome disease. Kissing.

That’s right, it appears that locking lips might just be your one-way ticket to the bone yard, and I don’t mean in that way either.

Dr. Mahiban Thomas – head of the Maxillofacial Dept and head and neck surgery at Australia’s Royal Darwin Hospital – has warned that full-on kissing could well transmit the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV to people who don’t have the time to spare on such verbal frivolities), which can lead to cancer.

Furthermore, according to Dr. Thomas, an estimated 70% of head and neck cancers are caused by HPV.

With a certain inevitability, Dr. Thomas placed the rise of such instances on younger generations and their changing attitudes towards kissing, oral sex and sex in general.

He told an Australian news channel: “If someone has kissed in excess of six people their risk of contracting HPV is higher, or if someone has kissed in excess of nine people the risk is significantly higher again.”

So add that to the list of things that may wind up killing you at some point. Still, you know what they say: ‘A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the…erm…neck?’

 

(SE)X FACTOR

A contestant has been unceremoniously booted from a British television talent show after her porno past was revealed to the show’s bosses.

Becky Constantinou – who performed in a massive number of shoots as Brooklyn Blue – made it through to the advanced stages of the X Factor (which became American Idol when it made the trip across the Atlantic) but was apparently undone by a security guard and his encyclopedic porn knowledge.

According to a British tabloid, the security guard recognized Ms Blue outside the audition venue.

She told the ‘paper: “He came up to me with a knowing smile and said ‘I know you from somewhere, you’re that Brooklyn girl”.

“I had a long think and decided to come clean in an email. They phoned me back to say I’m out. I’m devastated.”

“Porn shouldn’t define who I am” she insists. “I was never going to put on a sex show for Simon Cowell.”

Far be it for us to be a pack of cynics, but this just seems to be paper bait – which of course we have taken too.

In 2006, another British porn actress – Michelle Thorne – appeared on the same show and caused quite a stir as she made it through to the later rounds of the contest. So, the point is… there’s a precedent and it’s the opposite of what went down here.

X Factor as a show has long been on the wane in terms of both quality and ratings, so let’s call this a publicity stunt which benefits both parties.

 

FUCKBUSH CITY LIMITS

Remember when George W. Bush was President and every two-bit would-be political commentator wore t-shirts that said ‘FUCK BUSH’?

Well, it seems Wallace Berg, 81, of Stratford, Connecticut, has taken this advice a little too literally after he was arrested for being naked a humping one of his bushes.

A neighbor called the cops on Berg – who was very busy getting green fingered – and when confronted, our man reportedly twigged, stopped the indecent behavior, covered himself with a grill cover, apologized to the neighbor and then scuttled back into his house.

Berg – who evidently likes to be on topiary – was charged with public indecency and breach of the peace. He was released after posting a $10,000 bond.

The moral of the story? Leaf well alone!

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