What has the concept of ‘the future’ ever meant to you? Molecular transportation? Moon bases? Trips to Mars?
Well, if it was ever the thought of penis transplants that had you most excited about the coming years then you’re in luck because the future is now!
As if some low-budget, obtuse Neil Blomkamp film, a 21-year-old man in South Africa has successfully received and accepted the world’s first dick switch.
The story of how our would-be pork swordsman got this far will make you cross your legs a little, but here goes: after having his penis accidentally amputated after a traditional circumcision went wrong (argh!) three years ago, the patient was given a dead man’s dick from a donor last December. The patient is said to be recovering well physically and mentally. BaDoink is just glad they didn’t… ahem… cock it up!
One 42-year-old man may well be the next in line to receive a new penis after the New York Daily News reported on a Bostonian who was rushed to hospital after BREAKING his penis.
The man was taken in after driving his penis right into his partner’s crotch as he missed his intended target. Graphic photos (OBVIOUSLY NSFW!) show mass bruising, discoloration to the member in question. After some emergency surgery, and probably after the application of multiple ice packs, the patient was discharged. Later check-ups showed no lasting damage. Just be careful out there, fellas!
… and finally: Rapper 50 Cent is due in court later this year to answer to charges of posting a Florida woman’s sex video on YouTube.
50 Cent, real name Curtis Jackson III, is alleged to have posted the video in 2010 showing Lanista Leveson and Maurice Murray doing the beast with two backs. Leviston is the former beau of Rock Ross, a supposed rival of 50.
50 Cent is not known for his subtlety (or good music for that matter), as this tweet from the same year proved…
Im a get me one of them bitches from a third world country. At least she won't have high expectations. Heres a clean glass a water baby lol
— 50cent (@50cent) September 11, 2010
