Make Hay While The Sun Shines!
An Australian farmer has fallen foul of the authorities after a structure made of hay designed to look like two animals doing it like they do on the Discovery Channels was the subject of a number of complaints from locals.
Bruce Cook, from the rural town of Kerang, claims he erected the sculpture for ‘a bit of fun’ but neighbours and other townspeople failed to see the funny side of it. True to form, the reaction from the public and the town council bordered on hysteria. Bruce was urged to tear down the structure or potentially face charges of indecency.
As you would expect, a number of Bruce’s fellow countrymen have taken up arms in an effort to stop this censorship. A Facebook group called We Say The Hay Stays is keeping tabs on the latest developments. Bruce himself gave his would-be censors short shrift.
“I told the copper to piss off” he told local reporters. “They have picked on the wrong person. I don’t care what they threaten me with. The sculpture stays.”
Hell Hath No Fury…
Over in China and emotions were running a little high when a woman – convinced her husband had been engaging in a little extra-marital playtime – decided to make a mess of her husband’s car… as he was still sat inside it!
To the bemusement and amusement of passers-by, the mystery mangler smashes the car windscreen with a brick before tearing her fingers to shreds by pulling the windscreen apart with her bare hands. Her husband sat and cowered in fear as his car suffered the same fate as the one in the Street Fighter II bonus round. Well, would YOU get out and face her?
What a Dick Move!
A lot of men tend to be unhappy with the size of their junk. Despite the protestations that ‘size doesn’t matter’, a man’s comfort in his own length and width can go some way to make a person happy or deeply unhappy. How many songs, books have been created… hell, how many WARS do you think have been started… over the concept of a man not being happy with what’s between his legs. The mind boggles, it truly does. Of course, we’ve all seen the spam emails promising bigger dicks for all, but one man decided to try something different and almost lost everything in the process!
The newswires have been buzzing after the revelations of a man known as Szilveszter who willingly revealed to the world that he required emergency surgery – that involved peeling his penis like a banana – after injecting it with vaseline in a rather misjudged effort to make Little Szilveszter just that little bigger. The news came about (NSFW) as a new series of Extreme Beauty Disasters hits the small screen, an episode of which features Szilvezster and his weird, mutilated dick.
The vaseline he injected somehow didn’t cause any problems for nine months before all of a sudden it was rejected by his body and his penis soon became bloody, sore and swollen. Some people pay good money to have that done to them, you know!
Understandably keen to try and fix things, a plastic surgeon had to unskin the penis and roll it back on. As the vaseline had formed hard lumps up and down the shaft, they needed to be removed. Luckily for Szilvezster his penis is in full working order… and yes, you may uncross your legs now, gentlemen!