Have you ever head that dream that you were naked in front of all the students at your high school? Many people have. I’m fortunately not one of them. But I do have my moments. Many times I don’t like what I see in the mirror when I come out of the shower, let alone feel comfortable standing the way I came into this world in front of my partner.
It’s easy to feel insecure with a muffin top and stretch marks you inherited with pregnancy. Even being married for a million years may not make you more confident about walking around the house naked. Your man doesn’t care about those stretch marks or those extra pounds.
“We’re our own worst enemy regarding our flaws,” says Rachel A. Sussman, author of The Breakup Bible.
According to Sussman, men are much less observant of our perceived flaws than we think. In fact, “they wouldn’t notice a C-section scar or stretch marks if we didn’t bring them up.” Men are turned on by confidence, so flaunt the parts you’re proud of.
The minute you start taking your clothes off, your man is concentrating on one thing and one thing only: you (and possibly what he wants to do to you).
Karen Sherman, PhD, author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It and Make It Last, says, “In general, men can think about only one thing at a time, so when you’re naked, he’s not worrying about paying bills or making calls.” Women often complain that men don’t think of them enough, says Dr. Sherman. If you’re concerned about this, get naked! You’ll definitely be on his mind then, though you may want to save your striptease for after he’s finished with those bills.
Sex doesn’t always last as long as you’d like but don’t think your man is trying to rush through it. But once you are out of your lingerie, there may be something unexpected on your man’s mind: football. Therapists’ old method of teaching guys to last longer was to have them think about sports, says Darren Wilk, Registered Clinical Counselor and Certified Gottman Couples Therapist. Though the technique is antiquated, it’s not forgotten. “Men are still worried about having it end too quickly,” says Wilk.
Also know that nudity may not always trigger strong sexual urges every time in your man. Sometimes, men just want to cuddle with your unclothed body. But in my experience that hardly ever happens. Some women assume that whenever their men reaches for an embrace, they want more, says Sussman. But it’s simply not true. “Physical touch is how people express affection, and it doesn’t always lead to intercourse,” she explains. A sex-free spooning session can be fulfilling for both partners. Curious sex questions.