As someone who regularly writes about sex, exploring topics that are pretty ‘out there’ in regular terms, people think that my sex drive must be off the charts. I must literally be squatting over a dick at every opportunity available to me. Well, as fancy as that imagery might be, that is most certainly not true. Sometimes I’m also munching on a beaver.
What I’m trying to say, perhaps unsuccessfully, is that people seem to think that as a sex writer, I must have a libido that is off the charts. And that might be true for some writers. Granted you need to have an interest in sex to be able to write about it, but that doesn’t mean a porno level libido.
Most importantly, even if someone does have a high libido, that doesn’t mean that that’s the gold standard for everyone’s sex drive. Somehow, in the highly sexualized present, it seems that the only level of sex drive that is acceptable is always ‘rock hard and ready to go’ or ‘sopping wet and ready to go’. Uhm… that sounds like it would be very inconvenient.
I would say that I have a regular libido, except that perhaps I’m more curious, or rather more likely to act on my curiosity than any regular person. Which means that I’m more likely to find myself in situations where I’m able to explore more often than not.
I liken it to eating. You can be someone who goes to the same restaurant all the time, or the same few restaurants, or you could explore a new restaurant every once in a while, or perhaps even order something new on the menu. Or you could be someone who only eats at home. If you don’t try new things you’ll never know, am I right?
Anyway, unless you have an actual condition (premature ejaculation, etc.), whatever level you’re at is the right level. As for women, we’re made to feel that if we’re not always turned on and ready to go then we must be frigid, so much so that there is a company out there trying to make the female viagra; as if we didn’t have a tough enough time, now we’re being told that if we’re not turned on like men are, then there must be something wrong with us?
No. Ladies and gents listen up. Enough of this! There is nothing wrong with your sex drive. Now go forth and have sex… or not. It’s all good.