When I was younger, I wasn’t immune to the whole, “Be careful with your vagina because once you do [insert inane whatever] it’ll be loose forever!” thing. Don’t have too much sex, cuz all that penis action will surely loosen your poor little vag. Having a baby means: goodbye tight vag, hello cave! In fact, don’t have any sex at all, because the virgin vagina is the tightest of ’em all! I believed this to some extent for a long time.
By this logic, female porn stars should be walking around with their vag lips just flapping in the wind, dripping female juice out of their huge, cavernous vaginas, due obviously to the massive poundings they’ve taken. But here’s the thing about all this… we’ve been taught a whole bunch of bollocks about our vaginas and the myth of the ‘loose’ vagina has perpetuated it. Here are some truths about the vagina:
Just like how your mouth gets back into its regular shape when you stretch its sides, so too does the vagina. The vagina’s tightly folded muscle tissue acts like an accordion, sitting pretty and tight until it’s in an aroused state or giving birth. Once intercourse is over or that baby has popped out, it folds itself back into its regular tightly folded state.
When aroused it relaxes
It relaxes a little when aroused – but that doesn’t mean it opens up like a baby is about to pop out. It relaxes around two fingers wide (or less), enough to take in a penis. When a woman is anxious, the vagina walls actually tighten more – which is also why some young girls find it hard to insert a tampon for the first time. And no, this isn’t a cue that you should make your woman anxious so that her vagina will tighten and you will be able to have ‘better’ sex. It’s painful and not pleasant at all for the woman.
Yes, age affects the elasticity
And so does repeated childbirth. After a point, like all elastic, the walls fatigue and do not snap back fully. Older women (women in their 30s and 40s) who give birth might find that their vaginas don’t snap back as tightly as they used to. Doing kegel exercises does help tighten the vagina by tightening the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina.
Virgins are not tighter than non-virgins
Just because she’s never had sex before doesn’t mean her vagina is tighter than a woman who has had sex. When a woman is fully aroused, then her vagina – virgin or not – will expand and lubricate to receive the penis and then it will snap back to its original state after intercourse.
These vaginal tightness myths are so ingrained that it’s hard to shake them off. It can make people believe that after the first time, the vagina is now ‘loose’. But this isn’t how the body works! So let’s start spreading some real stories for a change.