The 10 Worst Places to Have Sex

February 21, 2014
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When it comes to sex, you might think the more places you do it, the better sex you’ll have. Well, time to put down the romance novel there buddy and come back to the real world, where sometimes having sex in weird places equals crappy sex. Behold the 10 worst places to have sex:

The 10 Worst Places to Have Sex
Romantic… for Jack the Ripper

1. The Dark Alley
What is that smell? And is that water or… pee? Uhm… no. Just no.

2. In The Pool
Sounds sexy, but the lack of friction could bring passion to a screeching halt.

3. Public Bathroom
Any public bathroom. Again, it’s really disgusting and not as clean as the movies would like you to believe. Please, please don’t do it in a port-a-pottie!

4. Water Bed
Have you actually tried this? Definately make sure she isn’t wearing stilettos!

5. The Beach
Another favourite fantasy. One word. Sand Everywhere. (Ok two words). You’ll be cleaning for ages to get it out of your bum. Not to mention knee burns.

6. Burning Man
Sure you get horny with all the scantily clad, yoga bodied young uns’ running about. But read point 5.

7. The office
Keep it in your pants mister! You never know where they’re putting the security cameras these days or who is watching.

8. Against a window
One thrust too hard and out you go!

The 10 Worst Places to Have Sex
Is this the Master Bates motel?

9. In a car
Unless your car is a big ass SUV or limo, chances are you’re getting poked by more than just his penis.

10. In a cheap motel
You don’t know when they last cleaned those sheets! If you see a stain, it ain’t yours!

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