I like novelties. I don’t like surprises. And there are some areas that are just restricted. But then how would my lover know that? Where are the boundaries? What is considered normal? How do you know when you are about to cross the line? I’m talking about “no go” zones. One comes to mind. The bite.
The bite I will remember forever. I don’t know what kind of signals I was sending at the time but without a warning he suddenly bit my nipple. Absolute torture. I grabbed his head and pulled it away so rapidly I almost broke his neck. Never again. And what I found out over coffee the other day was not only men but also women experiment selfishly.
My friend is a handsome man. And his behind has always been his best attribute. So many compliments. But there is only so much we want to give the first time. He met a woman. The attraction was instant. It became more than just passion. And just when it felt really good and comfortable she made an unexpected move. Her finger went inside his anus. Unauthorized access. Game over.
But it just might go the other way. Those weak points. Those juicy parts. We all have them. Once it’s inside you, you just want it to last forever. Lust is a wonderful feeling. I became obsessed with it. I wanted those orgasms. They were like rainbow colors running through my veins. But at what cost? Satisfy your basic instinct. Sexual hunger is an unhealthy thing. I let him overpower and control me. There was no me left. No orgasm is worth losing yourself.
Respect. That’s where it all starts. Balance. How much is enough? Is it possible to have too much sex with your partner? Maybe he feels it’s too little. My libido changes constantly and it drives my boyfriend crazy. Once I want to do it four times a day. Now I only feel like it maybe once a week. I can’t wait to reach the peak again. But since I’m getting to know myself every day more and more, I am learning to take my time.
I’m also taking my time to get to know my body better. And I sometimes daydream. I think of men I’ve been with. And I ask myself: “What if I ever screw it up? What if I start thinking about other men during sex with my boyfriend? What if I go even further and say out loud a name that is not my boyfriend’s? It happened to a friend. Her boyfriend never recovered and they broke up. All those are deal-breakers in bed. Sometimes we don’t pass the test. I found an answer… Bubble space.