Post-One-Night-Stand Etiquette for Men

January 13, 2014
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For some reason, many men seem to have the worse post ‘ONS’ (one night stand) etiquette. Perhaps they think that the women they bed can’t resist their pure animal magnetism and will want to have their babies. Whatever if it is, nothing excuses bad behavior. So I’ve compiled the basic post ONS etiquette for men that you guys should be practicing:

Be Honest
We’re not made out of glass hon. You don’t need to pretend to look out for our feelings. While it is nice to think that we’ve been oh so fabulous and now you’re hopelessly in love with us, we also know a one night stand is a one night stand – unless you lie to us with “I’ll call you soon”. If you don’t intend to see us again, then don’t insult us with a lie. Be honest with us if it’s a one time thing and don’t string us along.

post one night stand etiquette
If you regret it, be subtle

Don’t sneak out
Nothing is more rude and insulting than waking up to find that the guy we were so intimate with snuck out of our flat like a coward. Aside from making us feel like we’re a mistake that they want to forget, it also means you don’t trust us to be mature enough to handle a one night stand. You don’t have to put a ring on it, but if you’re man enough to shag us, you should be man enough to stick around to say goodbye.

Be polite
Please don’t be that guy that turns into a big jerk right after you get what you want. Even if you don’t plan to see us again, that doesn’t mean you can’t say thank you and, please, walk us to the car/door/cab (instead of pointing in the direction of the door while you roll over and sleep) and call us a cab the next day (or better still drop us off). Think of what would be polite in the real world and apply it in this situation.

Be nice
If you had a good time and don’t mind cooking us breakfast, then don’t stop yourself just because you think she might get the wrong idea. Especially if you were clear with her ala point number one. You may enjoy sleeping in your bed better if you’re solo, but that doesn’t mean you can kick her out of it in the middle of the night!

Don’t be a mess
Just because you’re not in your flat doesn’t mean you can leave hers a mess. Clean up and pick up after yourself or what might have started out as a good experience can turn sour fast when she’s picking up your shit after you’ve gone.

Practice this my young padawan and not only will you have a lady thinking you are a gentleman, but she might come back for more – with no string attached. Let me know how it goes!

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