Now, I know this sounds silly, and it is, but trust me on the fact that a really good, meaningful sexual experience (and I include casual encounters here) should survive, and even be improved by, a sense of humor or nonsense. The Mile-High Club, for instance, is completely nutty, and remains a pillar of sexiness because of the overt craziness attached to it. Sex on the beach? There’s no way that can be achieved totally seriously, especially when you picture a butt covered in sand (pornographically hilarious). If your sex life would disappear at a guffaw, silly adventure, or non-romantic gesture, then you best renovate that particular part of your existence.
I’m not saying that steamy romance doesn’t have many perks, but that kind of act becomes tedious and false after time, and it becomes necessary to realize sex can be treated like a super fun activity without all the mood song and dance.
I’ve compiled some ideas to turn your sex life into a madcap adventure of epic proportions.
Have sex in a pillow fort. This is awesome for multiple reasons. First off, you have to build a pillow fort, which will mean a lowering of the seriousness on a grand scale (proving compatibility in a silly way). Also, it’s a pillow fort, which means lots and lots of pillows and blankets, and embedded fantasies; if you can have sex in a pillow fort and have it be a success, may as well pretend you are goddamn pirates. With hats.
On that note, role-play. Now, you have two main options here. The first is to mirror your favorite porn films, donning easy to remove getups (have you ever noticed that a mailman wears very little clothing? I haven’t) in the style of your favorite used-by-porn-narrative profession. That will be so ridiculous it will instill a weird mood that can only be broken by bumping uglies. The other route you can take is far more creative, creating a real time fan-fiction of your favorite fictional characters, then going to town on one another as said literary/cinematic figures. If you can do that, you are meant for each other (or both crazy wacked out and deserve more booty in your life).
Put away those normal aphrodisiac foods and get your hands on some bbq wings or hot cheese. You’ll never be the same again, and even the weirdest of bondage will seem like child’s play (I’m talking unspeakable acts with cheese; you may elaborate from this basic inspiration).
Instead of listening to Marvin Gaye or some other sexy music, try to boink to free jazz or math rock (keeping to the impossible rhythms of course). Symbolically, you’ll be freeing yourself from the shackles of conventional sexual rhythms (actually, most sex is played by your bodies in 4/4 time), and you’ll enter into the universe of polyrhythmic pleasures. Some challenges include The Mars Volta, Battles, and John Coltrane’s Interstellar Space.
Try the weirdest of bondage, but have a sense of humor about it. As much as I respect the kink community, I’ve time and time again been turned off by many kinksters’ seriousness, so throw it into the sexual mix as a fun cherry on top of your sex pie. Role-play is greatly improved by props, after all.
Have a crazy philosophical discussion during sex and see what kinda silly, mind-blowing stuff you come up with. This is ridiculously fun (I assume), because it’s like free association between visceral communication and obnoxiously high level mind ideas. Like, assign each other some Kant, Heidegger, or Kierkegaard, then get naked. An enjoyable sense of post-coital enlightenment awaits (just don’t actually trust any conclusions; this is mid-sex discourse, after all).
Well, soon to be mattress bound friends, I hope you enjoy some of these weird ideas (or create some of your own). Sex doesn’t have to rely on romance or the need to seem like poor quality porn, but can be subject to the same imagination with which you enjoy the rest of your daily experience.