It’s All About Reading the Labia

July 28, 2015
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It's All About Reading the Labia

There are three types of vaginas: walnuts, butterflies and flappers. I learned this from a man a few years ago the night he pegged both me and my girlfriend’s nether parts casually over a glass of wine.

At first I thought this was some kind of superman skill, like being able to see right through fabric to discern the correct color of one’s underpants. I’ve now come to believe, after a little research into the matter, that it’s pretty easy to guess correctly based on little more than superficial observation.

Check out a woman’s lips (the ones on her face). More often than not, there is some similarity between her smile and her vagina. Seriously. Also, for some reason that only nature can know, a woman’s openness to sexuality can be telling regarding the particular delicacy she’s hiding underneath her clothes.

The more overtly sexual a woman is in her behavior, the more likely it is that you’ll find a butterfly or a flapper waiting to greet you if you make it into the wilderness of her sex. Walnuts tend to be a little more reserved and demure with their sexuality. Thinner lips and cooler personas can give a walnut away.

This of course has nothing to do with performance or desire. Labia size does not in any way increase or decrease a woman’s sensitivity or ability to achieve an orgasm. Like men, women have hang-ups and insecurities regarding the size of their privates and it should be noted that all varieties can be sublime.

Sexy games are fun to play. I haven’t had the opportunity to practice this one enough to always be correct as it seems the man who introduced me to this game was. I’ve gotten pretty good at the superman trick though and would be curious to know if you come up with similar findings.

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