If you want to engage your partner in your sexual fantasies, here are three simple rules that will at least get you started in the right direction:
To loosely quote something only semi funny that I heard…
1) Make it about her
2) Don’t forget rule number one
3) There are no other rules
We all have fantasies. Even the most conservative among us have had thoughts that diverge from what we feel is appropriate or comfortable to discuss out loud.
Remembering this as you approach the conversation might help you to relax enough to be convincing!
The more extreme or involved your fantasies are, the more you should consider the pace of sharing your requests. Go slowly. Test the waters. You might try telling her you had a very sexy dream about her and then let her pry it out of you. A dream makes it less confrontational and you’re starting the conversation with a compliment to her sex appeal. Remember, it’s about her.
It should be light and fun and maybe even arousing. It plants a seed.
Now that the door has opened, you’ll be able to gauge interest and willingness. Without pushing, you might suggest acting out your dream. Tell her you’d feel safe with her and reassure her that her feelings of safety will always come first.
If your fantasy involves exhibitionism, try out some small displays. Rub the inside of her thigh at a dinner party, kiss her neck and whisper in her ear while buying groceries together. FANTASY FOREPLAY can ease the transition from the tame end of the spectrum to full on sex on the beach or between floors on an elevator ride…
And all the while, let her know how sexy she is and how much she turns you on.
The fantasy foreplay model can be applied to any fantasy scenario you carry. Just like with straight up missionary, preparing the body and the mind makes for a more enthusiastic and open encounter.
If your fantasy involves a third (or more) party, security is key. She’s the queen and at any point, if she feels uncomfortable, it’s over. Obviously she needs more foreplay to feel safe. Many women share that fantasy, especially if the other partner is a woman. And you’d be surprised at how many women love to imagine being with two men.
If you want to share her clothes or tie her up or be spanked or nibble on her toes while she masturbates in a yoga position, the most important step for entry is to make it personal. It’s about her and you and it’s because she’s so incredible that you would even bring it up.
If you can be patient enough to let her initiate sharing your fantasy when she’s ready and if you can stop yourself from rushing to perfect your ideal scenario, than in many cases you’ll eventually wind up having the greatest, most fulfilling sex you’ve ever imagined!