Mistress Julia is a lifestyle and professional dominatrix from the UK. Today, she talks to BaDoink about what that means…

How did you get into domination? I imagine you didn’t say to the careers officer at school ‘I want to be a dominatrix’ …

My earliest experiences of domination were really born out of curiosity, a game between my partner and myself to fill otherwise dull evenings. I was 19 and he was 20. We had very little money, so we decided to create our own entertainment at home. He had very feminine features and lovely waist-length dark brown hair. We started discussing playing with makeup and clothing, and both became interested in seeing just how feminine we could make him look. This soon became a regular activity and one we both loved. He really became my living doll. We even became brave enough to go out together on a few occasions with him wearing a little eyeliner. He talked of a deep desire to pass as a woman in public and I gladly accepted the challenge. I had at the time never even heard of transvestism or anything else to do with the scene. Looking back now, it was so innocent. But that was the start of my journey.

Do your family/friends/neighbours know what you do? Have you faced any disapproval?

My daughter Princess Amelia is very involved with the business and at 22 is an accomplished Dominatrix in her own right. We often work together online and in real-time sessions. As far as friends are concerned, I have their full support, as many of my most valued friends also work in the industry. I am reasonably open about my work and lifestyle choices within my own personal circles and rarely see any real disapproval.

Do you work from a dungeon?

Primarily I work from home in Cornwall. I run my business from my play room providing real-time sessions for my long-term trusted clients. I also take Domination calls via my own premium rate adult phone lines (Call Me Direct) and I work with Casscams, an adult webcam site where I am involved in everything from model management and promotion to running our model support forum.

Some people think that being a professional domme is easy money, that all you have to do is put on 6 inch heels and bark orders while waving a whip. Is it really that easy?

Being a professional dominatrix is far from easy; it is extremely challenging and mentally very draining. You really have to adore submissives to work in the scene. Anyone who actually dominates professionally, especially doing real-time sessions, will tell you that you have to be passionate about your craft. You need a very open and creative mind. The clients I play with are my responsibility. I have to concentrate every second on my sub’s emotional, physical and mental well-being and safety. Anyone who thinks picking up a riding crop and slipping on a pair of thigh boots makes you a Dominatrix has a lot to learn.

So the stereotypical image isn’t entirely accurate?

The stereotypical image is certainly very popular for many and works well for the purposes of advertising. But in reality a dominant personality and a creative, controlling mind are far more important. Although the classic look will always be popular, a Dominatrix’s wardrobe is in reality as diverse as her clients. I’ve even been asked if I would be willing to provide sessions in jeans and trainers.

Is there such a thing as a typical client?

No, there is no such thing as a typical client; every one of my boys are complete individuals. They are incredibly diverse in their kinks and interests. Real-time clients share a few common traits: they are incredibly respectful and polite. I find that my clients are often very intelligent, and tend to have busy successful lives and careers.

Online cam and phone chat clients tend to lean more towards certain popular subjects such as small cock humiliation, directed masturbation, forced bi roleplay, cock and ball torture and feminisation, but I  believe this is due to the constraints of the mediums we are using to communicate. Real time clients are far more likely to build a relationship with one Mistress and much more likely to stay loyal to her. Online and phone clients probably visit a number of their favorite ladies depending on who happens to be available.

What do you enjoy about your job? What are the negative aspects?

It’s hard to pinpoint one aspect of my business that I enjoy. There are many reasons I love dominating, the main reason being my enormous love of being in control. Running my own business gives me freedom to set my own hours and take time off at my leisure. I have always adored submissive males and I love the sheer diversity of the people I meet and play with. I find every aspect of the scene fascinating. I am, and have always been, very much in control in my personal life, and my business simply allows me the same opportunities.

There are a few issues that are out of my control on the cam sites, for instance time wasters and guys looking for free sessions. But you cannot avoid them in this industry, you simply have to recognize them for who they are as quickly as possible and ignore them.

Has anything shocked you?

I think I am pretty much beyond shock or surprise these days, but yes, a few different sessions in the early years did concern me on some levels. For example, in the early days extreme images of brutal bloody canings did shock me but these extreme levels of masochism are in reality quite rare. Equally scat play [faeces] I  found very difficult to deal with in the early stages until I discovered a delightful gent who loved to indulge in this particular kink. He changed my mind because of his total delight and joy in not only the fetish, but my acceptance of it.

Have you ever pushed your own limits?

Yes. I  have tried and enjoyed immensely many different activities and sessions I  had never dreamed I would indulge in. The two most extreme to date have to be anal fisting with my lifestyle sub D9 and lots of very risky public play sessions. I find the scene every bit as addictive as my subs do. I have set and crossed so many personal boundaries in the last 7 years as a Professional Dominatrix and fully expect to cross many more in the future.

Do you have a favorite fetish?

Very hard question to answer. I couldn’t chose one favorite, I  love so many different kinks and fetishes. In my top five I would have to list CBT [cock and ball torture], puppy play, dehumanization, extreme anal play, and confinement [caging]. I own two BDSM cages. But above all it is the complete control in every session that I really enjoy.

I’ve heard it said that a domme is as much a counsellor as anything else. Is that true in your experience?

A Dominatrix has to be capable of fulfilling many different roles for her subs. A counsellor, a teacher, a goddess, a torturer, a comforter, a mother, an enabler, a confidante, a friend, a controller, a sadist: every client I see has completely different and individual needs. I have to be all of these things and more.

Have you ever had any brushes with the law?

Yes, I have had one minor brush with the local constabulary. I posted some naked public humiliation pictures on my site (Random Obscurra) of one of our subs serving myself and Princess Amelia at a tea party in my garden. No one witnessed the actual event except ourselves and the sub involved, but the pictures were reported to the local police. I invited the officer into my play room to take a look and promised to keep our activities confined to indoors in future. I think he was far more embarrassed by the meeting than I was! I was given a very polite warning about not taking risks that might offend my neighbours, and nothing further ever came of it.

Is there anything that you refuse to deal with?

Very little to be honest, but I  have a strict code of being clothed at all times in my sessions and I never have and will never offer any form of body worship other than foot worship.

I would like to take this opportunity to dispel a common misconception: a Dominatrix is not an escort. I do not offer any kind of sexual services. I have never considered it and like all genuine Dommes I never will. The difference being that a Dominatrix is unattainable sexually. I only work with clients who completely understand this.

Is there such a thing as ‘normal,’ or does everyone have a fetish?

There’s no such thing as ‘normal.’ I  absolutely believe that everyone can find aspects of the kink world that they would enjoy, given the opportunity to explore in a safe consensual and sane environment.

How big a part does psychology play in domination and submission?

Psychology plays a huge part in any scene. Dominants and submissives need to fit together psychologically. It’s all about the meeting of minds. I personally have to enjoy my sub’s mind above all else. Physical appearance is of zero interest to me.

I would just like to add that age or disability should never be a bar to enjoying the scene. We tailor every session online, on the phone, or in real life to the individual needs of our client. You are never too old to experience something new.

Mistress Julia can be found at:

www.casscams.com

www.randomobscurra.co.uk

www.callmedirect.co.uk

… and on Twitter (@jammybitch1).