I’m pretty sure that there are bigger issues women need to worry about other than having a better orgasm, but faced with those issues that are hard to change or you have no control over, taking charge of just how you orgasm can, if nothing else, make you feel pretty damn good.
Personally, I don’t think we value a good orgasm enough. I’m sure that changes depending on just how easy it is for one to cum. A good friend of mine could never come while fucking. Instead, having an orgasm was for her a complex ritual that involves a spoon (yes, a spoon). Before meeting her, it didn’t occur to me that it might be difficult for some women to cum. To be able to have (and control) your orgasm is also a small way to take control of your own body; to say, I’m in charge of giving myself pleasure.
So together with LELO, the leading brand in pleasure, we at BaDoink want to celebrate International Women’s Day tomorrow, Sunday March 8, 2015, by sharing the 10 tips for a more fulfilling orgasm that you’ll find below. Not only that but also the good folks at LELO are giving everyone a 20% discount on LELO.com and a free candle with every order placed using discount code WDAY15 before March 15. So make sure you head over to LELO, right after reading those crucial tips. This year the theme for International Women’s Day is #MakeItHappen and damn straight we’re gonna do just that!
So, without further ado…
Stop Faking It
I get it; we fake it sometimes because we don’t want to hurt his/her feelings. Or sometimes, you just want to get it over it since he’s taking so long and won’t stop thrusting till you put on your ‘cum’ face. But still, in the long run faking it can cause more problems. It’s still dishonest and will only serve to reinforce the moves that aren’t doing it for you.
It’s Good to Talk
Sometimes it’s hard to get the words out. But I’m not talking about sitting down to have a heart to heart (thought that is good too). I’m talking about steering your partner in the right direction, offering feedback, being straight up and just saying what feels good and what doesn’t. It might seem hard in the beginning, but the more you speak up the easier it gets.
There Is Strength Within
It’s true what they say working with your kegel muscles will lead to better, more substantial orgasms. So why not start there? Kegel exercises are discreet and easy and if you own a little kegel toy like the LUNA Smart Bead from LELO it also makes it quite fun!
The Breath of Life
Sting doesn’t practice Tantra just for fucks you know. Oh wait… He does! Tantra might sound all woo-woo and out there, but really it’s all about breath control – just like yoga. There are several breathing exercises for better sex that you can try: you’ll be surprised at the way it can intensify the sensations of pleasure.
Slow Down to Speed Up
The most intense orgasms are those that are staved off as long as possible, and the last two tips―regarding breathing and Kegels― should help you to do that. An orgasm has a kind of potential energy, like a twisted elastic band. The longer it’s twisted, the more energy it will release, and the same is true of the energy released at climax. Take your time to learn your body, use your fingers and experiment until you understand exactly what it is you enjoy most.
Orgasm through penetrative sex alone is movie fantasy that most women can’t achieve. Most of the time we need outside clitoral stimulation and a lot of concentration to get us off. And that’s perfectly normal, but there are ways to draw out an orgasm during sex if you want to. Use a position in which you can rock back and forth on top of him, using his pubic bone to stimulate your clitoris. Better yet, use your fingers or a powerful vibe like SIRI 2 to stimulate yourself.
Enjoying erotica together or alone ― porn, literature and anything between ― is a great way to learn your own preferences and tastes to better begin exploring them. With a partner, sharing fantasies, even if they remain unexplored, can lead to the shedding of self-consciousness and embarrassment, and encourage orgasms without limits. As with so much in sex, this is all about open and honest communication, and that takes practice. It’s worth it.
Medication can affect your orgasm. Painkillers can inhibit your orgasm cycle, and prescription anti-depressants can leave your libido feeling flat. Check with your doctor and make sure you’re aware of the side-effects, because if you’re ever struggling to reach orgasm it can be easy to lay the blame elsewhere before you make the connection between any medication you’re taking. Also, your doctor is a qualified health professional: talk to them about any orgasm issues you’re having.
Your Time to Shine
All orgasms are equal, but there are times to orgasm that are more equal than others. A study of 18-35 year old women showed the orgasm was most intense on the 14th day of the menstrual cycle. Your clitoris swells by up to 20% more than usual―the 14th day of your cycle is the day you’re ovulating, so it makes sense that you’re more receptive to sexual contact on this day.
Your Favorite Position
Your physical position can also influence the ease with which you reach orgasm. Try sitting upright with your back against a headboard or a wall, with the soles of your feet facing each other, kind of like the lotus position. This improves the blood flow to your most intimate areas and allows close control of your muscles.
Don’t forget to head over to LELO to claim your 20% discount on your purchases and a free candle with every order placed using discount code WDAY15 before March 15. And be sure to hashtag #MakeItHappen to celebrate International Women’s Day!