How To Make Your Semen Taste Better

November 8, 2013
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So she’s down on all fours, sexily sucking you off as you lay back and enjoy the view. As your throbbing member (ahem) explodes in her mouth she comes up, smiles, and then her expression changes to disgust as she rushes to the toilet to spit that shit out.

Not so sexy that your lady won’t swallow your load? Well perhaps it ain’t her thing, or perhaps your spunk tastes like two-day-old yogurt under the sun. Time to get that jizz to taste like something she’d want to keep – it’s the polite thing to do. After all, only 2-5% of semen is actually sperm and 90 percent of semen is actually fructose, enzymes, lipids, etc. – so really, it’s for her own health. But it’s your responsibility to make sure your milky goodness tastes like something she’d want to swallow!

Things to consume:

Let’s start with the obvious. Eat fruits like pineapples, papayas, melons, mangoes and blueberries for their natural sugar content, which helps to reduce the ‘bitter’ taste of spunk.

Drink 1-2 liters of water to help flush out toxins (we only want the good stuff, thank you).

Spices and herbs like cinnamon, cardamom, peppermint and lemon also help to sweeten the taste of your smooth protein shake. Mix some up with your coffee, tea or shake.

Chlorophyll-rich foods like parsley, wheat and celery will add some sweetness to your load.

Finally, maintaining a balanced diet and exercising regularly will help you feel better and increase sperm quality.

Things to avoid:

Junk foods that contain a high level of fat.

Vegetables like cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli and asparagus actually worsen the taste of spunk. Seriously if your pee smells so bad after eating asparagus, can you imagine what your spunk will taste like?

Alcohol, caffeine and nicotine not only affect your orgasms but also actually worsen the taste of semen!

Avoiding garlic, onion and spicy spices (because of its high sulfur content) is probably a good idea.

Too much red meat, milk and cheese also lends a salty taste to your load.

Since it takes between 12-24 hours for the food you eat to synthesize, I would say, clean the pipes and then drink some yummy fruit juice the night before a hot date. Perhaps munch on some celery as a snack the next day. Come nighttime, relax, kick back and watch as she is amazed by the discovery of a whole source of free protein shakes! Enjoy!

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