First Time Post Sex Etiquette

November 26, 2013
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So it’s early morning and you’ve just had coitus with this hot girl you’ve been trying to bang for ages. She is still in your now-numb arm but you’re happy as a clam. Of course you are! Yet, first time sex isn’t the portrayal that romantic comedies would like you think it is. It’s bumpy and a little awkward – no matter how strong the chemistry is pre-sex.

Funnily enough, what happens after sex is just as important during sex, especially if you want said sex to be a regular occurrence. And even if you don’t, there is no excuse for being a dickhead. Read on for some post sex etiquette:

sneaking outDon’t rush off to shower

Seriously, I understand if you need to clean off a little, but come back to bed. It feels like you think you’ve done something dirty and need to clean off. No one wants to be on the receiving end of that.

Don’t roll over and fall asleep!

Do we even need to explain this? You might be on the verge of sleepy time, but a little bit of chitchat will go a long way. Cuddle her a little; tell her she’s hot (we’re tender creatures, especially after sex, we’re vulnerable!).

Don’t kick her out of bed

Sure, if you’re leaving, then she should leave too (unless you don’t mind her staying) but kicking her out in the middle of the night because you want the whole bed is a dick move.

smoking in bed

On that note, don’t sneak out!

Seriously? Yeah, sure sometimes you don’t want to be reminded that you went there, but hello! You did. Sneaking out is rude. You don’t want to be on the receiving end of that. A little bit of tea or coffee in the morning before she or you leave is nice and shows that you’re matured.

Give her your number

If she wants it, exchange numbers. Doesn’t mean you have to call her or that she will call you. But it’s important to have in case one of you get’s an STD and she (or you) needs to get in touch.

Not every girl wants to have your babies

So don’t act like she’s suddenly a leper and start being mean to her or lying. Women react better when you treat them nicely and with respect. Whether it was a one-time deal, or you want to see her again, never act like all you wanted her for was sex and now that you got it, it’s out the door for her.

Follow these simple suggestions, young Padawan, and not only will women respect you for treating them with respect, they might even want to come back for seconds!

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