Femdom Role Models

Were you ever asked as a child ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ I recall being asked this question when I was five years old, and answering ‘I want to be a writer.’ I suppose, since you’re reading this, I have to some degree fulfilled that ambition. Hopefully when I finally get around to writing a novel, I’ll earn shedloads of cash as well. But one thing the youthful me could not have expected to be doing in the future was becoming an online dominatrix. Yet 40 years later that is one of the hats I wear. And perhaps it was inevitable for a couple of reasons. One, I’m a Scorpio, and you can’t tell a Scorpio what to do. The second reason is that I had some amazing female role models in my formative pre-teen years. Those bad bitches were exactly what a young girl needed to show her the way to female authority. Who do today’s girls have to show them the way? Selfie queen Kim Kardashian and countless auto-tuned, clothes-shedding pop stars? How sorry I feel for my younger counterparts. Young Kitty, on the other hand, had two extraordinary figures, one fictional, one all too real: Servalan,  dictatorial boss of a totalitarian empire in Seventies science-fiction show Blakes 7, and prime Ministerial political ballbuster Mrs Thatcher.

One of the most accurate portrayals of Mrs Thatcher was by impressionist Steve Nallon, who was, quite obviously, not female. He voiced the Iron Lady for satirical puppet show Spitting Image (in which she always wore a masculine suit), and imitated her voice perfectly. I always thought it interesting that the best of the many imitations of Mrs T was done by a man. But then she was never what you’d call stereotypically feminine. And considering that I was a mere 10 years old when she became Prime Minister, my growing consciousness of myself, social roles, and awareness of the world, was suddenly  presented with this extraordinary powerful woman. The first woman Prime Minister of Great Britain, no less! We’ve had several female world leaders since, although the United States has yet to catch up and elect a woman. Come on America … give in to female domination. You know you want it. You need it.

Many of the fetishists and submissive men I talk to can trace their earliest interest in femdom and fetishes back to their childhood. It often arose from a female authority figure such as a teacher or aunt, or a woman that they remember seeing, someone who wore a memorable pair of high heels. The possibility that this is where my interest in femdom began cannot be discounted. I remember someone saying to me at the time ‘You could have been the first female Prime Minister’, which was my first understanding of how this was a man’s world, and women had to take power for themselves. This could well have been the early stirrings of an interest in female domination, well before I even heard of femdom and mistresses (though they surely existed). It must have hit me like a thunderclap. In the hundreds of years that we’d had a prime minister, they were always, always male. Until 1979.

Then along strode Mrs Thatcher, with her perfectly coiffed helmet of hair and authoritative air. This bitch meant business. She was not someone you argued with. Indeed, stories of her battles with the subordinate males of her Cabinet were always in the papers, and Mrs T invariably came out on top in these battles. She was a ballbuster extraordinaire, long before I learned of the delightful femdom hobby of busting balls. Anyone foolish enough to do battle with her was quickly dispatched, ending up a quivering wreck of a man, cowering in the tattered shreds of his masculinity. It was an extraordinary spectacle, and there was something delightfully satisfying about observing this as I entered my teens. Women could rule! It was wonderful. Of course, I grew up knowing that we had a Queen on the throne, but it was always clear that she was only a figurehead. Mrs Thatcher, on the other hand, was the real deal: a genuinely powerful woman. And it was marvellous. I didn’t like her policies and what they meant for the country, but I loved her power. Having a female political leader was something genuinely refreshing and a huge change for the UK. I loved it. She may not have been the kind of public figure you warmed to, but you could tell that she just didn’t care. Like the very best femdoms, she had control and didn’t give a damn if anyone loved her or not. She wasn’t in it to be popular; she was in it to be right.

But Mrs T was not the only fabulous femdom role model for this nascent femdomme. Just before she strode into Number 10, I began watching a science-fiction series called Blakes 7. It was derided by many as a typical cheap BBC attempt at sci-fi, with the usual cardboard sets and ridiculous costumes. Being a fan of sci-fi from early on (and not too fussed about wobbly sets – it was the Seventies, after all), I enjoyed it immensely. But the real reason it grabbed my attention and didn’t let go was Servalan, played by Jacqueline Pearce. How often do you see a series where the villain is a woman? Servalan was Supreme Commander of the Terran Federation, who bossed everyone around and quickly disposed of anyone who didn’t toe the line. Oh my God. Servalan. She was amazing, and I adored her from the very first moment she appeared on screen. Girls today may wish to emulate singers and reality stars, but back in 1978 this icy, authoritative, confident woman was number one on my ‘wish I was her’ list.

Like Mrs T, Servalan was an interesting juxtaposition of masculine and feminine attributes, but unlike Mrs T her wardrobe was entirely feminine. It was STUNNING. I think they must have blown the entire budget on her costumes. She swanned around in full-length white gowns, trimmed with feathers and glitz. Yet she also sported a very masculine cropped haircut. Most of us couldn’t get away with such a severe crop, but on Jacqueline it worked beautifully. The contrast with her exquisite and very feminine wardrobe was stark. It illustrated perfectly how a traditionally masculine position of power could be assumed by female authority. Because Servalan was most definitely feminine, and without a doubt decidedly in charge. With a tilt of her head and narrowing her eyes, she could reduce her subordinates to a quivering mess, fearful of what she might do to them. And thus, I grasped the idea of female authority long before I even heard of femdom.

Servalan was incredibly assured, confident, and utterly ruthless. You could see how she had risen to the top – and she was prepared to do whatever it took to remain there. Anyone was dispensable if it meant that she got her way. Not only was I struck by the unusual sight of female power, but I also began to think that the bad guys were much more interesting than the good guys. Her character was infinitely more intriguing than the heroes of the show (and her outfits were so much more flattering). The episodes where she was absent were really rather dull. It was also a pleasure to admire her wardrobe, though it was rather ironic that she usually wore white, a color associated with purity and innocence. Perhaps there was a degree of moral ambiguity; she and the Federation appear to be the villains, but was it really that simple?

Still, perhaps it doesn’t really matter from a femdom point of view whether or not Servalan was truly bad. She was, though, what we’d now term ‘badass’. She never shied away from doing what was necessary to keep control, and was prepared to dispose of anyone who stood in her way. This was a woman who did not have a single doubt in her mind. She was confidence incarnate and absolutely sure of herself. In one episode, she was flirting with a man who commented that he’d never met a woman like her. Servalan purred in response, ‘That’s because there are no women like me.’ And she was right. Servalan was unique, and I loved her. She wasn’t above using her glamour – it was clearly one tool in her arsenal – to manipulate men, something that any femdom worth her salt knows how to exploit. Indeed, she enjoyed many a flirtatious encounter with two of the characters she was pursuing. It’s also interesting to consider the first syllable of her name – Serve – because that’s what everybody did, serve her. She was a femdom queen, and it makes me wonder if anyone involved in creating the character was a secret submissive. Strong female characters are much more common these days, but almost 40 years ago this character was so radical that she really made an impact on me – and I hope she had the same effect on other girls. Like Mrs Thatcher, Servalan was untroubled by any concern as to what people thought about her. She just went her merry way and pursued her goals. That’s an important lesson for female emancipation. We don’t just have to be equal, we can be superior if we wish (some femdommes believe that there is no doubt that we are superior). We may not be able to rule empires, but we can run companies, and even countries. We can start businesses, be the boss in our relationships, and reject male authority. And this feels good.

So it may have been inevitable that at some point I would discover the world of femdom, with these two amazing role models. Anything that helps girls discover their strength is to be applauded, so I’m profoundly grateful to have been shown the way by Jacqueline and Mrs Thatcher. Girls, we can do anything if we set our minds to it, and we most certainly do not have to be subordinate to men. So discover your power and take control of your lives. Find female role models of your own – women who genuinely achieve worthwhile goals and don’t just rely on their looks. While I was no fan of Mrs Thatcher, I firmly admired her strength and determination, and although she wasn’t the first woman to lead a country she paved the way for many to follow (although sadly we haven’t had another female PM in the UK… it’s about time we showed how we can do better than the men). And I was most definitely a fan of Servalan; it shows how radical the character was that she’s still having an impact on me almost 40 years later.

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