Puberty is a confusing time for everyone. Lots of changes that we know will happen; some that we had no idea about. One of that group we did know about (for guys, anyway) is our voice radically changing into a grown man’s pitch. In my case, it couldn’t happen soon enough. There’s nothing more emasculating for an 11-year-old boy than when people call the family’s landline and confuse his voice with his sister’s. Often.
So when it finally changed, I couldn’t wait to over-do it. It was also a time when Pearl Jam was the biggest band in the world, and all of a sudden my forced Eddie Vedder-ish tone was a source of pride for my still-growing body.
Two decades later, though, as I continue to be mocked by anyone who knew me back then, it seems my pubescent mind had the right idea after all!
“The Barry White Syndrome”
In what’s been called by some people “The Barry White Syndrome”, a study has demonstrated a female preference for men with deeper voices as short-term partners. They also report higher numbers in sexual partners compared to men with higher-pitched voices. There is one downside, though, as the same study says men with deeper voices tend to have lower sperm quality, too.
From an evolutionary standpoint, this sounds a little confusing, since the instinctive thing would be to find the most fertile man to procreate with. A deeper voice is often associated with older, bigger, manlier men. However, it seems guys with lower-pitched voices are also linked with lower concentration of sperm in their ejaculate, which would explain the whole “as short-term partners” part. While it can definitely help initial attraction, high-pitched voiced men might be more suitable for procreation in the long term.
Now, for any deep-voiced dude who’s been to a movie theater on an early Sunday show, or a Chuck E. Cheese for a well-deserved hangover meal, this might sound like an absolute win-win, but some brave crazy men out there still seem to care a big deal about having children.
While there are differences between the female attention obtained by, say George Clooney and Rick Astley (because, well, voice is not the only trait women will instinctively look for), there seems to be a predisposed physiological preference for it.
So it seems I was actually playing my cards the right way 20 years ago. If only I hadn’t been absolutely terrified to talk to any girl back then, it seems my early teenage years could have been nothing but an avalanche of pussy.