Sex by its very nature should be little more than great fun, a chance to explore both yourselves and others, find out what fits, what doesn’t and assist in connecting the species together by mutual ad consensual fun and frolics. But like anything that sounds too good to be true, it usually is.
Alas, the complicated structures of life mean that for some, sex is a complicated, shameful and awful concept. Some are restricted so severely that they are denied the simple and most fundamental driving force of their own existence. A number of those who partake are woefully misinformed – how many times have we heard ‘can’t get pregnant on the first time’ myth? – and find themselves in dangerous and traumatizing situations involving disease, unwanted pregnancy, abortions performed by less than scrupulous practitioners and the punishments meted out by religious scripture, over-zealous and unknowledgeable authorities and people who should be coached properly next time they step out or talk in public. In short, it can be a jungle out there and we as a species are guilty of leaving our brothers and sisters out there on their own and fighting for their lives.
So what’s the answer? Well, it’s fairly obvious: stringent, involving and informative sex education. But – sigh – even that is fraught with pitfalls. For reasons and reasons, some sections of society are afraid of the truth, progression and fairness in sex and sexual health. The solution? Don’t back down, keep your nerve and dispense with the facts until it gets through. It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. And thank the stars that Adult Sex Ed Month (ASEM) is here to do just that for us.
Now in its third year, ASEM is a social media campaign active during June that is set up to share educational and informational blog posts, articles, videos, podcasts and infographics about adult sex on Twitter and Facebook with the hashtag #AdultSexEdMonth.
AESM was created and is maintained by Bobbie Morgan – already doing fantastic work with A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind and Sex Sells Detroit. We caught up with Bobbie to talk about the history, aims and motives and future of Adult Sex Ed Month.
As Bobbie will explain, the fight is very real, but bit by bit, year by year, things are changing. But when it comes to sex education it should not be the remit of one person or one organization to do all of the work for us. So if you see something worth sharing, worth discussing… vital to the cause… then please do cast your doubts to the wind. You never know, you could be diverting one or more people away from making a series of dangerous mistakes.
Adult Sex Ed Month is now in its third year. How has the growth and progression been for the organisation in that time?
There’s really no formal organization behind #AdultSexEdMonth except for me and a handful of sex bloggers, readers, tweeters and adult product and service companies that are committed to getting credible information about sex onto the eyes of potentially millions of people.
Actually, it’s more than a handful of bloggers. The number grows every day #AdultSexEdMonth catches on. It’s like having waves of people crash a party and party crashers – especially sexy party crashers – are fun people!
What was the catalyst for the creation of ASEM? Was there one particular incident or anecdote that sparked it off or was it the culmination of a number of factors over time?
I was really getting frustrated with conflicting information and misinformation about sex when I was researching stories for my blog. And this wasn’t coming from some crappy magazine that always comes up when you plug a search term into Google (Hint: the name of the magazine is one word that begins with a “C” and ends with an “n”).
I’ve even gone to some popular and credible medical websites and research papers looking for information. I don’t get pissed off easily, but it just really floored me, especially when it came to stuff like orgasms, the G-spot and female ejaculation. If they don’t know, understand and agree on how women’s genitalia work, how are we supposed to know?
Some of the best and most credible information I could find came from sex bloggers, and you know how rarely they pop up on the first page of Google, even when you type in a sex-related search term.
How has the reaction been from the public? Have you spoken with those who have learned from this campaign, perhaps even avoided a catastrophe? Conversely has there been any negative reaction from the more conservative elements of society about the work that you do?
I’ve heard from lots of people who have said that they learned something new from #AdultSexEdMonth, but on average, only about 1% of people speak up and say something.
I’ve never heard from any feedback, negative or otherwise, from the conservative elements of society. I’m kind of hoping that someone like Rush Limbaugh would call me a slut. That might shake things up and get the rest of the world to know what we’re doing.
Which do you think is the biggest contributor to the lack of sex education/health among people? A dearth of education of the fear/shame/stigma that some people have in talking about it or raising issues pertaining to it?
The influence and power of politics and religion, especially in the States where I live. With the 2016 presidential season starting to ramp up, I’m sure there will be all kinds of batshit crazy thoughts and ideas flying around like there was in 2011-12.
Have you ran/will you be running any events offline in conjunction with ASEM?
I barely have time to run what I do online. This is a tremendous group effort, but there’s an enormous amount of work that goes on behind the scenes — maintaining the website, answering questions and emails — stuff like that. I need an intern or have another two or three full-time people to help. If only I could pay them!
What does the future hold for ASEM? What are you plans?
My hope is that it grows virally. It’s such a much-needed and worthwhile cause. If you’ve ever talked to a physician or played Cards Against Humanity with a bunch of people, you’ll get an idea of how many people don’t understand the most basic aspects of sex, let alone the kinky stuff.