Your partner always wants to see you comfortable in your skin. *Mitch, from Des Moines, IA, says, “My wife is always in such a rush to get her clothes back on. She’ll hop in the bed and throw the covers over her body, and when the sex is over, she puts them right back on. I wouldn’t mind seeing her linger a little longer.” Mitch, your wife is not the only one. So consider maybe cooking supper one Saturday night in only an apron – and maybe get her walking around naked while you’re watching baseball. You’ll enjoy the view – hopefully.
It’s not only women who worry about those extra pounds. Wilk says that research shows men want as much as women to feel attractive during sex. *Lawrence, from Hoboken, NJ, admits, “My wife’s body has definitely changed in our 10 years of marriage. I notice it, but I’m more concerned about my own beer gut. I’ve actually sucked in my stomach in during sex.” It is important for a woman to empathize with a man’s insecurities by telling him how handsome and attractive he is to her – and that’s what I do, but luckily my dearest has no beer belly.
OK so your partner might not have time for those special moments when rushing to work in the morning but he will probably want you to join him under the water on a night or weekend which is guaranteed to get things flowing. “I can’t think of one guy who wouldn’t love for his wife to jump in the shower with him,” says Sussman. “The smaller the shower, the more room for creativity.” I agree, so much fun to start the day splashing each other. Make love right there in the shower or use the naked, wet time together as foreplay for the bedroom.”
Possibly, when your clothes are off, he’s thinking about this very moment—not when you first got together. That’s not to say your relationship doesn’t need a magic spark. Wilk says it’s key to continue to court each other, as you did in the early days, throughout your relationship. “Continually telling your partner that they are hot and that you can’t wait to get your hands on them is never redundant,” he says. My dearest tells me every day how beautiful and sexy I am, with new passion in his eyes.
Even the most attractive celebrities can’t compare with how happy and safe your partner feels with you. Besides, “he doesn’t feel like he could match up to those women in real life,” says Dr. Sherman. And for all he knows, those sexy stars may be nothing like he imagines—especially when the makeup comes off and hair extensions come out. At the end of the day, couples choose each other because they want to be together—and not with anyone else.
Our secret complexes are sometimes our best tool. You just have to know how to get the best out of them. As they say: “There are no ugly people; only lazy ones!”