Hey lovers, summer is just around the corner and it’s the season of breaking up and hooking up and generally being in or out of love. Yes, I’m not here or there. Like any other time of the year, human beings are consumed and surrounded by love. We’re driven by love, to find love, to avoid love. Literally our whole existence seems to be… love.
And yet, love still is something that we as humans collectively know very little about. It’s the most important thing in our lives and yet we don’t want to know anything about it in the name of – romance. Because we believe that we should be born with the knowledge of love and any kind of effort made to understand love or humans and how we love, is deemed ‘lame’ and not romantic. We would rather suffer through a painful relationship and breakup rather than understand human nature and love.
Well, I am not taking any chances here, and think you shouldn’t either. I’ve collected some awesome TED talks all about love and infidelity. Hopefully we can start the process of understanding – this doesn’t mean that we’ll never suffer another heartbreak but at least this way we’ll know why and also maybe what to do about it:
Helen Fisher: Why we love, why we cheat
Take a stroll through the world of science and how biochemistry affects how and why we love, how women returning to the job market is creating a more collaborative world, how both men and women are equally adulterous, and much more. In this modern world where arranged marriages are slowly fading away, people want to be ‘in love’ in order to marry and no longer want to marry for convenience. Super interesting.
Esther Perel: Rethinking infidelity … a talk for anyone who has ever loved
An amazing talk, essential for anyone who has been cheated on, or has cheated on a partner. Even if you have experienced neither, this talk explains why one cheats – spoiler alert: It’s not always because he/she is trying to hurt you. I especially love how Perel explains why affairs are so traumatic, because she explains it in a way that is relatable and understandable. Definitely a must watch.
Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability
This talk is one of my favorite of all TED talks. Not only about romantic love, Brené Brown touches on the power that vulnerability gives you and opens you up to love yourself better, which in turn allows you to love others. Requires a measure of self-reflection but worth it.
Yann Dall’Aglio: Love, you’re doing it wrong
This is a great exploration on why we do what we do in the name of love. The answer will surprise you – it did me in. In our search for tenderness and connection we have placed ourselves in a position that is the most vulnerable of all…
Christopher Ryan: Are we designed to be sexual omnivores?
In this interesting talk Christopher Ryan, author of Sex at Dawn discusses how humans were not made for sexually exclusive relationships. There is nothing wrong with it, but he also makes a case for the opposite and how there should be nothing wrong with non-monogamy as well. Brilliant and funny, he really knocks the nail on the head here.