Retro Porn: The Opening of Misty Beethoven

April 24, 2015
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Retro Porn: The Opening of Misty Beethoven

Considered by many to be the greatest adult film of all-time, The Opening of Misty Beethoven was a reasonably high budget film with an elaborate plot, reasonably good acting, an academy award winning cinematographer, an original musical score, and was shot on location in Paris, New York and Rome. So… Basically, not your average porno.

An experienced film editor and director, Randy Metzger (in this case under the pseudonym Henry Paris) was responsible for the flick, and his proficiency stands out among other blue movies of the era. Metzger had dabbled in the sexploitation genre while working in Europe in the 60s, and the recent social acceptance and relevance of the adult industry inspired him to try it himself.

http://youtu.be/et0gZxzhvyo

The movie is partly based on Pygmalion, the famous classic play by George Bernard Shaw. In this adaptation, the Eliza Doolittle character is played by the stunningly beautiful Constance Money, as Misty Beethoven, a fairly unenthusiastic Parisian prostitute, who becomes the pet project of Seymour Love, a sophisticated sexologist (played by Jamie Gillis) who believes he can turn her into a legendary lover.

Gillis, arguably the greatest male actor in porn history, was a trained thespian and a perfect choice to play the smug Dr. Love. Money wasn’t an actress, but her naivety and awkwardness was exactly what the part needed, and its evolution throughout the movie deserves more praise than it has received.

There are loads of great sex scenes, some quite suggestive and tension-building (trust me; a ripe mango will never be the same to you after watching this movie,) and some just fun and silly (although inspiring for those with an appreciation for multi-tasking.)

The film is also infamous for being the first widely released movie that featured female-on-male pegging, which surely turned a few heads and sparked the curiosity of a few straight men in the mid-70s. But really, even if you’re like me and the notion of an unannounced and scarcely-lubricated pegging makes your asshole contract in fear, there’s something rather amazing about watching Constance Money confidently strapping on a massive black dildo and rejoining the threesome she nonchalantly took a little break from.

To be honest, I find the film a bit pretentious at times, which in and of itself is kind of an awesome thing to be able to say about a porno. Make no mistake, though, The Opening of Misty Beethoven is a pretty good movie, even if you were to cut all the great sex scenes out. But then again, why would anyone want to do that?

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