Retro Porn Review - Wanda Whips Wall Street

More than 30 years before there was a real life Veronica Vain screwing Wall Street, a namesake of hers was whipping it.

Porn legend — and occasional mainstream actress — Veronica Hart stars as the title character in Wanda Whips Wall Street.

Once the financial pride of Altoona, Pennsylvania, the titular Wanda feels ready to leave the small town she has conquered and reach for the heights of the big city.

We see several exterior shots of Wanda as she arrives to New York City, and she quickly manages to land a job at a prestigious — yet slightly ambiguous — Wall Street firm. Her goal has never been to merely work there; Wanda’s there for the taking. Using her sexuality seems like a remarkably easy thing when she manages to be in an office so ridiculously creepy that in today’s world it would surely be the wet dream of a sexual harassment lawyer.

“Making it in Altoona was one thing, but I want to make it in New York,” Wanda assures her soon to be boss during her interview as she unbuttons her blouse. I’m actually not sure if making it in Altoona was ever “one thing”, but let’s roll with this.

Wanda’s plan had always been straightforward: Fuck every married guy who owns any stock of the company, then blackmail them into handing them over to her in exchange for her silence. Also, because she only has one vagina — even if it’s such an industrious one — Wanda recruits her old friend Janie (the very underrated Tish Ambrose in her first role ever) to be her secretary and fellow fuck/blackmail partner.

Worried that a lot of their shares are mysteriously being sold to an unnamed company, stock holders hire private investigator Lou Perrini (Jamie Gillis, because duh) to figure out what seem like pieces of a bigger plan. Lou is seen for the first time going down on a beautiful girl on a private yacht, which incidentally is how I picture Gillis’ lifestyle all the time.

Financial news is the order of the day, as the movie embraces its comedic undertones through a conveniently business-knowledgeable crowd of pedestrian New Yorkers. Meanwhile, a pre-Trading Places New York Stock Exchange shows Wanda dealing with her stressful job without breaking a sweat. The only thing that could really get her nervous? Lou Ferrini, both as a sexual interest and a guy who could potentially catch her.

Look, the story has a lot of holes and conflicting matters that you could either attribute to a product of its time or porn’s standard obliviousness when it comes to accuracy. If you can somehow bypass the fact that all the contracts in the movie are somehow fully valid as they drunkenly fuck each other, it’s a little better.

The acting is mostly good (with some clear quick exceptions you’ll notice), driven by several heavyweight porn thespians like Hart, Gillis and Samantha Fox. It’s also worth mentioning that Ron Jeremy, while he might not be a good dramatic actor, has a very nice comedic rapport with Ambrose. Their scenes together are great.

Director Larry Revene, known for his work as a cinematographer in both porn and mainstream film, did a solid job shooting the film and made good use of a limited budget.

Wanda Whips Wall Street is significantly farfetched and it’s one of those adult films that hasn’t aged all that well, but it’s entertaining enough to keep you interested.

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