Retro Porn Review – The New Erotic Adventures of Casanova

May 31, 2015
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Retro Porn Review - The New Erotic Adventures of Casanova

Although officially credited as John Holmes’ first directorial effort, The New Erotic Adventures of Casanova has been popularly attributed to filmmaker and group sex enthusiast Carlos Tobalina.

The movie follows Holmes as the title character in what initially appears to be a period piece — an uncommon occurrence in porn. Casanova gallivants through 18th century Paris, casually showing his sword fighting skills and earning the love (alright, lust, really) of the ladies. Before bedding one of them, Casanova nonchalantly offers her a taste of the new fad everyone’s been talking about: cocaine. They each have a bump and feel inspired to continue. The odd inclusion of coke in their relationship may not be historically accurate for a period film, but it’s pretty damn spot-on with Holmes’ habits of the time — including snorting on screen, because fuck it.

Casanova informs his Parisian love interest he’ll come back after dealing with some business he needs to handle in London, which of course is a very Holmes-ish way to suggest a foursome with three teenage sisters. Sometimes there’s no need for details.

But just when we get used to this old-timey feel, Casanova is not Casanova anymore. John Holmes wakes up roughly 200 years later; it turns out he’s been having some pretty weird sex dreams and he’s discussing their origins with his therapist.

John, a direct descendant of Casanova, has been wearing a cologne he found inside of his family’s old furniture. Its scent is believed to be irresistible to women, and he’s seen at his ranch telling his buddy Paul along with — for reasons we don’t quite understand how he deemed appropriate — his entire family.

The general curiosity for the scent leaves everyone ready for Tobalina’s specialty: an all-inclusive orgy that is handled in a slightly classier way by simply taking turns in separate rooms. What follows is a taboo-fest full of sexual endurance and as much incest as humanly possible.

Most of the performances are decent, starting with the typically confident Holmes of the time, who — not without a quickly passing guilt — manages to fuck his friend’s daughters, wife, mistress, and even an unexpected sexual twist towards the end that may or may not disturb you a little.

Considering how complicated and expensive it is to set a period piece, their resources are fairly well-managed and nowhere near as laughable as they could have been — it’s cheesy, but it could have been so much worse! The movie’s shot well, and the music — classical for the Casanova flashbacks, funk/psych-rock for the 1970s scenes — is properly utilized, too.

The ending is purposely open and abrupt, perhaps fully aware that its sequel would be on its way. The New Erotic Adventures of Casanova is classic badass Holmes at his best: larger than life, a bit creepy and somehow kind of engaging.

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