Retro Porn Review – Alice in Wonderland

March 28, 2014
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So, let’s start by stating the obvious: This version of Alice in Wonderland is not particularly suitable for children. It’s a 1976 adaptation that’s loosely based on the classic novel.

If you’re familiar with some old adult films, you may notice this movie starts like any other standard, slightly insensitive story of its time: Alice is visited at work by her boyfriend, a mechanic that seems tired of failing to get his beautiful and virginal girlfriend to have sex with him. After putting her down and making her feel insecure about her lack of life experience, the dude leaves frustrated and Alice discovers a copy of Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland. The popular book is yet another thing she’s never encountered, as she quickly informs us by… um… singing?

That’s right, folks. Bill Osco’s Alice in Wonderland is an X-Rated musical.

This is both good and bad. On one hand, it definitely has its artistic value, as the songs are well done and they certainly inform the emotional content of the story on several occasions. On the other hand, as you might imagine, it’s a bit of a boner-killer if everyone bursts into song every few minutes.

All the classic characters from the book are here, with a few extra quirks that were not included in other versions. The Mad Hatter might be more phallic-centered than I remembered. Humpty Dumpty seems hopeless in this Viagra-less world. Tweedledum and Tweedledee are revealed to be brother and sister here, which makes their scene a little more awkward. I guess when in Rome – or a sex-obsessed make-believe world whose ruler submits others to hedonistic… Oh shit, now I see where the expression comes from!

http://youtu.be/acmqTU6iFts
Kristine DeBell, who in her film debut did a more than acceptable job as the naïve and curious Alice, actually managed to move into mainstream film and television after this movie. You might recognize her as a camp counselor in Harold Ramis’ classic Meatballs and Jackie Chan’s girlfriend in The Big Brawl.

This film should probably be seen more as a tongue-in-cheek attempt to add cheap sexuality to a well-known story, than a proper porn movie. The sex scenes are not particularly hot, and they’re rather quick and dopey, putting more emphasis on the singing, dancing and endless innuendos. There’s no denying its production value, but in the end it’s pretty empty when it comes to sexually charged moments. If what you want is porn, go somewhere else. If what you want is a silly story with lots of quirky characters, songs, dances, more double entendres than you can handle, and a few sex scenes sprinkled around, then this is definitely for you.

Retro Porn Review – Alice in Wonderland 1 vote

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