Retro Porn Review – A Formal Faucett

June 22, 2014
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While this column usually focuses on original stories, there’s no denying spoofs are the most popular sub-genre in porn, when it comes to feature films. So in 1977, when Charlie’s Angels were a hit TV show, it was only a matter of time until someone did a porn version.

While the movie title would suggest something completely different, we quickly understand that A Formal Faucett is a play on the most popular of Charlie’s Angels. Farrah Fawcett-Majors became Formal Faucett Minor, in perhaps the ugliest name adaptation in adult film history.

While there’s not a lot of physical resemblance, I believe most of the Farrah brouhaha was focused around her hair, and that part was taken care of. Dorothy LeMay (of Taboo fame, and then going by the name Norma Gene) plays Formal Faucett in her first starring role. After coming home to her man to celebrate their anniversary, she finds him having (slightly uninspired) sex with another woman, and decides to leave him.

While hitchhiking to California, a man called Charlie Andrews picks her up just outside of Amarillo, Texas, and offers her a job interview as soon as she gets settled. While the A Formal Faucett production is obviously a low-budget affair, they do an alright job situating the scene, and introduced us to San Francisco from the get-go. The Bay Area was huge in the 70s porn scene, and there’s something about seeing them cross the Golden Gate Bridge that brings a certain familiarity to the movie.

When she goes to meet Charlie, she finds the interview rather accommodating. Of course, because these Angels are not necessarily solving crimes, the job requirements are considerably more relaxed. What exactly these Angels do is never fully clear, but it walks a very thin line of acting/modeling/escort service.

Charlie (played by Paul Thomas, though just like in the original series, his face is never seen) sends her and the other two less important and rarely clothed Angels out to different jobs, that range from sexy, playful commercials to straight up hooker gigs; effectively assuming the role of agent/pimp.

The acting is pretty terrible, although the editing and musicalization allow that to look kind of cool a couple of times, in a kitschy way. While the Asian-tinged music became a thing throughout the movie, on first impression it makes it a little un-PC during the Asian Angel (hey, it preceded Lucy Liu by 23 years!) scenes, but again, let’s just say that was a product of its time and move along.

There are too many long close ups for my taste, some obvious dubbing and – especially when you consider the quality of some of the adult movies in that year alone – not a solid storyline, nor great sex. This was one of Fred Lincoln’s first directorial efforts, and one that could easily be overlooked. Rightfully so.

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