Mother Banned After Baking Vagina-Frosted Cookies

September 30, 2014
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Considering how quickly kids develop nowadays, many parents feel that sex education should begin at an early age.

According to a story originally published by Redditor JPstudly, this was probably what a mom was thinking when she brought vagina-frosted cookies to her kid’s second grade class.

The class teacher, an unnamed friend of the Redditor who posted it, usually rewards the children for a good week by having volunteer parents bring in snacks. In this particular week, a mother who for confidentiality reasons she refers to as “Autumn Lily Speaker” (apparently not far from her real name), announced that she’d be more than happy to bring cookies for the kids that Friday.

Mother Banned After Baking Vagina-Frosted Cookies

All perfectly normal till that point.

“So Friday rolls around and the kids are excited,” the teacher explained about the day of the incident, “Autumn Lily Speaker comes into the classroom with a pan full of treats and brings them to me, and says with a smile ‘I decided you can use these to teach the kids about the woman’s vagina today.’ Baffled and completely caught off guard I slowly peel the aluminum foil off the pan to behold a plethora of sugar cookies and frosting vaginas.”

Oh, but not just a single repeated design for all the cookies. This woman actually put some real effort to show that vaginas come in many different shapes, sizes and colors, and felt this needed to be reflected on the cookies. According to the teacher, the frosted little hoo-has “were small, puffy, white, brown, shaved, bald, and even a fire crotch with beef curtains.”

After the shocked teacher politely informed her she couldn’t accept the cookies, “Autumn” went on an angry rant and told her she was “settling for a women’s role in life”, while she shouted the word ‘vagina’ more times than on a full, uncensored Comedy Central Roast.

Mother Banned After Baking Vagina-Frosted Cookies

As you’d expect, later that afternoon the teacher started receiving calls and emails from parents asking how their kids learned the word ‘vagina’ at school.

But no emails were as explosive as the ones the very mistakenly self-proclaimed “feminist” mother sent her, in which she belittled her choice to become a teacher and wished upon her to “end up with an abusive husband that beats (her) every night.”

You know, a clearly kind, open-minded and especially “feminist” thought.

“Autumn” has since been banned from district property, and she transferred her kid to a private school.

On the bright side, though, the cookies were reportedly pretty good.

And really, it’s all about context. I, for one, have a deep love for both vaginas and baked goods, and would receive them gladly. Also, I’d probably save the fire crotch with beef curtains for last. Just saying…

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  1. they do look delicious

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