The Unexpected Joy Of Writing Porn Bios

December 13, 2013
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The porn industry is fascinating to me. It has been for at least 20 years and my guess is it will continue to be for a long time.

However, I had my doubts about that longevity this summer. Back in July, my relationship with porn changed drastically, as I was approached to write for BaDoink. One of my responsibilities is to compile data and write bios for the starlets featured on the site.

BaDoink starlet
Missy Martinez

As interesting as it is to bring up in a party, I wouldn’t say it’s a fun gig all the time, because let’s face it: Some of the girls don’t interest me all that much. And that’s natural. A lot of these girls are barely 18 or 19 years old; people usually don’t have many things to say at that age.

Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy a lot of the videos, but the point of a profile is to show the personal information that transcends sex, and sadly, sometimes that side isn’t very attractive.

The job is also a bit mechanical, and often fact-based and restrictive. Productivity-wise, MILF-aged women tend to be my favorites. Bios pretty much write themselves with older women. They have it all: stories, an understanding of what they want, a solid adult resume and, most importantly, a good head on their shoulders and a sizable amount of life experience away from the business.

But there’s something I truly wasn’t expecting to happen before I started. Nowadays, when I’m watching porn off the clock and I see a girl whose bio I had to do, there’s a feeling of familiarity. Not only by knowing things about her, but I’ve noticed I even have a protective stance on it, and a pride I have in their work. I find myself saying things like “Alright, Alexis! Good job!” I’m genuinely excited for them doing well in the industry. I feel almost parental, in a way (although, most likely, much more willing to watch and enjoy the scene than their actual parents, I would hope and assume.)

Sometimes I’ll see a guy on a scene being condescending to them, and because I have some background information on a specific girl, I’ll catch myself saying: “Come on, dude, she’s an English major! Have a little respect!”

Of course, not all girls inspire that reaction in me. And some of the stories make this job a bit difficult to deal with at times. The hard reality is that I can’t sell certain things, and truthful as they might be, some lives need some embellishment and omissions to make an easier-to-read, light-hearted bio. A few of these girls do fit that old porn stereotype and have had terrifying childhoods and a lack of guidance that led them to where they are now. But so do a lot of us, writers and/or professionals of all kinds. The fact that we’re not doing porn is nothing to pat ourselves on the back for, nor feel superior in any way.

One of the greatest surprises to me has been that most of the women I write about seem to be happy with their choices, and are in an industry where –in spite of what the general perception is– they’ve found a close group of friends and a reliable backbone that wasn’t available in their lives before they joined the industry. And you can’t fault them for being happy, just because you think you wouldn’t be happy doing their job.

How happy? Join BaDoink VIP and find out for yourself.

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