5 Unconventional Uses for Your Sex Toys

June 13, 2015
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5 Unconventional Uses for Your Sex Toys

There are lots of reasons to look for new uses for sex toys. Maybe you bought something with high expectations and just don’t like it, or maybe you’re just a creative person who likes to see the most bangs for their bucks; you have probably looked at a sex toy and thought, ‘huh… I wonder what else I could use that for?’ We look into 5 unintended uses for sex toys that range from sexy to laziness-enabling.

Nipple Clamps Make Great…

Photo hangers. Look, we’ve all tried some things in the bedroom that, it turns out, we aren’t really into. Normally, the aftermath doesn’t take more than a quick conversation with your partner saying, ‘Hey, seems the naughty school girl thing kinda creeps me out’ or ‘Seems my neck bruises a lot more easily than we thought.’ All this is in the spirit of exploration and discovery of our sexuality. Sometimes, however, we are left with a toy or accessory that we just don’t have a use for, and, maybe somewhat foolishly, spent a lot of money on. You can use your pretty clothespin-style nipple clamp to hang a picture on a wire, strung across a mirror or what-have-you. They do not, it turns out, work that great at keeping your chip bag closed.

G-Spot Vibrators Make Great…

Massagers. No, we’re not talking about what you say your vibrator is when your grandma finds it. G-spot vibes, with their anatomy-fitting curves and, ideally, flattened head, are great for pin-pointing tension in your back and shoulders. They’re made to be light in your hand and be used with ‘personal massage oil’ and will go for hours if they’re made well. One caveat, however, is that if someone catches you using it like this, they will definitely look at you a bit funny. Who cares though? You will feel amazing.

Glass Toys Make Great…

Decorative pieces. Seriously, have you seen some of the gorgeous pieces being made by glass artists? Glass dildos are beautiful, smooth, great for temperature play, and body-safe… until they get a chip or crack.

Now, a lot of people are scared to use glass toys because they fear they will break, but borosilicate glass is actually pretty tough. It can, however, get a chip or crack if you drop it enough, or bang it against something like a granite tile.

Once damaged, it needs to be retired from playtime, but that’s no reason why you can’t keep it around just because it’s pretty. They can come in pretty unconventional shapes, but if anyone ever calls you out, you react exactly the same way you did when your mom asked about the funny vase in your room: give a blank look and ask them to tell you what it is.

Vibrating Cockrings Make Great…

Finger vibes. Maybe you bought that cockring for a romantic weekend with your special someone, and maybe you and that special someone have since parted ways. Being all by your lonesome doesn’t mean you don’t have a use for the little guy. You can just slip your first 2 fingers through the loop and use it as a vibe on your clit or balls.

Dildos With Suction Cups Make Great…

Handles during shower sex. The suction on a well-made silicone dildo is truly awe-inspiring. They’re made to handle being stuck to the floor or wall with someone thrusting onto them, so they generally should hold fast until you slip a finger underneath the seal. To use them for shower sex, stick two on the wall at a height and width that is comfortable for the receiving partner, and then use them to support one of both of you in an otherwise dangerously slippery situation. You can apply the same logic to hanging up your wet towels afterward if you want to, and your partner will be so impressed you’ve stopped leaving them on the floor. We do not recommend using them to do pull-ups… we tried.

Really, the only limit to how you use your sex toys, in and out of the bedroom, is your imagination and your attention to proper sex toy cleaning procedure.

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