TV Predictions As The Seasons Pick Up Again

February 28, 2014
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After a bleak Olympics season, my favorite TV shows are beginning to grace the boob tube with their presence again this week. Over this period of hiatus, though, I’ve pondered the futures of each of these television programs, and have come up with some predictions about what may occur. Realistically, many of my predictions most likely don’t fall in the category of expert divination, but I have a feeling. Who knows, maybe some of my not so awesome predictions won’t come true and the shows will be surprising and original!


How I Met Your Mother still has some surprises in store, I’m sure, but I believe they may be ill advised and poorly executed. I hate saying this, because the finale is really the culmination of a massive audience’s romantic expectations, and a lousy payoff would be worse than the end of Dexter (I may never let that go). I have a feeling that the Marshall and Lily storyline is all but over; we know that Italy ain’t gonna happen and that Marshall has finally become a judge. So, that’s cool. The wedding of Barney and Robin itself will be fun, but I’m sure that the ring bear joke will be disappointing because we’re all wondering about it too much. And how Ted ultimately meets the mother? I sure hope it’s not obvious and dumb (Robin’s first meeting might be interesting, though).

new girl

New Girl has tried to shy away from predictability, but as it’s also a romance show now, there’s only one way it can really go. Jess and Nick will break up, or have a weird engagement thing then break up. And it´ll be sappy but justified as for the best. No television shows ever let the couple just hang out in peace. Winston may actually go even more insane, Coach and Cece will keep being awkward (they’ll sleep together once and pretend it never happened), and Schmidt will probably just become a rabbi (probably in some scheme to win Cece back). And Jess’ sister will do something really terrible.

agents of s.h.i.e.l.d

Agent’s of S.H.I.E.L.D. has been exceeding my expectations of late, but that may be all a big ruse (Joss Whedon, you magnificent bastard). Something crazy is about to happen on the show, and it’s about time some questions got answered, because no audience likes being cleverly kept in the shadows for this long (Lost taught us all to keep secrets for an appropriate period and not make the truth suck). I believe that Coulson is going to defect from S.H.I.E.L.D. in some way, and that Agent May and Agent Ward will continue their love affair (no one actually cares). Knowing how American TV tends to function, the two science characters will make awkward love (and nerds will squeal in harmony). The Clairvoyant will turn out to be a character we’ve only seen in the films or something stupid like that, and Skye will use latent superpowers (what if her alternate personality is the Clairvoyant?). At least Deathlok has been introduced. That should be fun.


Community keeps getting weirder, which is awesome. Each character now has a crazy destiny in front of them, and if I know anything about Dan Harmon, he’s going to make it epic. I believe Jeff and Annie are going to do it and then regret it and then not regret and then no one will really care… but it´ll still be awkward. Britta is going to keep being terrible at everything, and that shall spell doom (or learning) for her. Abed is finally going to get some, and every other character will be pleased but also confused. Shirley might actually crack, and Troy is definitely going to make a dramatic return (as the captain of the pirate ship that overtook him and Lavar Burton a couple episodes ago). And Dean Pelton will have Dalmatian children. My only hope is that Harmon finds one final insane thing to do with Chang (I don’t expect to be disappointed here). Also, I hope that we never find out who the Ass Crack Bandit is.


Elementary has thrown us a couple curveballs this season, and I’m a little stumped here as to what is destined to occur. I don’t think Moriarty’s coming back, and if she does, it’ll be as some weird partner type figure to a really huge mystery only she can help solve. That’d be neat, if executed properly. Sherlock is probably going to get a fellow ex-addict killed or something really emotionally scarring, and Joan will have to be a hard-ass and help (but if they sleep together, I’m boycotting American TV forever). Best of all, Rhys Ifans shall return and wreak havoc on Sherlock’s life, either with the father character in tow, or with some ridiculous arch villain that we kinda really need at this juncture.

So there are my predictions. Comment if you think I’m correct or completely, unequivocally wrong.

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