SPOILERS AHEAD! ALTHOUGH YOU SHOULD HAVE ALL SEEN IT BY NOW!
So, the intrigues continue. In a few nutshells – the only way to summarize a show that, at its heart, revolves around a series of hells populated by a plethora of nuts – this is how episode 4 ‘Oathkeeper’ panned out:
Poor old Tyrion remains locked up in a dungeon awaiting trial for the crime of regicide, which he did not commit, and horribly aware that a lot of very important people are more than happy for him to be found guilty anyway and executed for it. I’m hoping that he decides to defend himself at trial and turns the whole thing around in some sort of dazzling GoT version of 12 Angry Men. Words are Tyrion’s weapon after all. Let’s see…
Meanwhile Tyrion’s wife Sansa is safely – or not so safely, depending on how you look at it – under the wing of Littlefinger on a ship somewhere, although Littlefinger’s loyalties as usual are ambiguous at best. Where did he get his boat from? I’m not so bummed out that Sansa is where she is than I am that she had to be there just as there was a glimmering of understanding between her and Tyrion at the Purple Wedding. I think this whole affair seals their worth for candidacy of awesome King and Queen of the Realm.
In leafier parts of the keep, almost-Queen Margaery is encouraged by Olenna to work on Joffrey’s brother Tommen as a possible new Royal groom – while hinting that she herself may have had something to do with Joffrey’s poisoning (Gasp!) – which leads to Margaery paying a visit to young Tommen to plant a few fruity ideas. Oddly enough, the Internet – while all too willing to point angry fingers at Jaime (more of that later) – has been very quiet on that particular element of potentially sexually inappropriate behavior.
Meanwhile, far off in distant lands, that other Iron Throne wannabe Daenerys ‘Mother of Dragons’ Targaryen is still moodily trampling all opposition standing in her way, freeing slaves as she goes (hooray) and quickly slaughtering their masters soon afterwards (hooray-ish – mind you, that probably explains why no one in her ever increasingly populous retinue hasn’t starved to death yet… a good dose of healthy righteous slaying ensures the food supplies remain manageable, I suppose).
That’s just the way it goes in Daenerys’ sulky quest to claim something she never had in the first place… all the while ignoring the fact that, to all intents and purposes, she kind of already has it, you know, a massive kingdom, the loyalty and unconditional love of millions, a number of nicely decked out nicked palaces. Still, lofty princesses, eh? If they’ve got their hearts set on an Iron Throne, what are you going to do?
Former sister-lover turned sister-rapist Jaime (‘Booo,’ screams the Internet, forgetting that Jaime, like everyone else in GoT, is a made-up, pretend person from a work of fiction) continues to annoy and confuse the viewing public at large by continuing to be sort of likeable. Okay, yes, violation is a terrible, terrible thing – in the real world – but in the universe of Game of Thrones, almost everyone is guilty of some sort of brutality, having killed, maimed or destroyed someone in one way or another. It’s really that kind of place. You may as well be angry at Vikings.
Anyway, so Jaime visits his brother in an act of fraternal support (the lovable rog… I mean, the terrible rapist!) and then later sort of acknowledges a kind of affection towards Amazon protector Brienne by giving her a bunch of cool gifts – some swanky armor and a sword, plus a brand new mission… to protect Sansa (presumably to give Brienne something other than his sister-raping penis to think about). Plus, he gives her Podrick, too! Yay!
I’m hoping that the ‘Adventures of Brienne and Podrick’ will provide a nice counterbalance to the ‘Awful Atrocities of Arya Stark and the Hound.’
Renegade crows holed up at Craster’s Keep decide to hold on to some traditions by leaving a new born boy out in the woods for the White Walkers and end up capturing Jon Snow’s brother Brandon, unaware that Castle Black’s favorite bastard-son Snow and a few volunteer pals are on the way to Craster’s Keep to have a few words.
Oh and we find out what happens to the babies left for the White Walkers; they get touched by other, more neatly-attired White Walkers – who look like they’re off to a Matrix convention – and become… wait for it… White Walkers! MASSIVE, HEAVING GASP!