That One Relationship: Mixed Messages

January 13, 2014
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Continuing on from Part II of his Talking About That One Relationship series, in this third installment Jimmy Yitzak looks at what happens when the rug is pulled…

“He seems to really like you,” his mother said to me. Confirmed! Yes, even his mom can see it. I tell her that I really like him as well. She asks me if he’s been going to the gym. An odd question, I thought, but maybe it has to do with something that I don’t know about. “I think so,” I replied. “We go to yoga together sometimes.” Yes, we were that couple. I was hardcore into yoga at the time. I went once or twice a week and sometimes my guy would come with me. Anyway, I’m not only brother approved, I’m mom approved. Yes! Yes! Yes! This is going well! Who needs a label!

I had a small performance coming up around Thanksgiving. I invited my guy and also invited him to dinner with my mom and my best friend. This was a big step for me. I don’t just have anyone meet her. She’s a special lady. We all went out to dinner and had a great time. The show went well. My guy seemed impressed. The next day, I spoke with my mom and she said she really liked him and he was much better than the last guy I dated. Great, now he was mom approved.

That One Relationship 3

As it was getting closer to Christmas, my best friend and I were gearing up for a performance of show we had written. We both flew to California to perform it over the holiday. I was gone for ten days and missed my guy a lot. We stayed in constant touch. One night I was hit with an incredibly strong feeling. It was really indescribable but I had the sudden urge to call him and tell him to not do whatever he was about to do. I couldn’t shake it but decided to ignore it, trust him and enjoy the rest of my sunny vacation in Southern California.

Once I got back to NYC, it was New Years. We spent a great New Years together and then decided to go to his mom’s house outside of Philly for a weekend in January. We hopped on the Bolt Bus and zoomed on down the NJ Turnpike. I was starting to watch Battlestar Galactica on my IPod Touch and he was reading and texting a lot. I didn’t think anything of it until I happened to glance over and saw the name of the guy he was texting… Tim ( My heart sank and my stomach was in my chest.

Tim (!?! He had me in his phone with the ending for the first couple of weeks we were dating. I remember because I laughed at it about three weeks in and so did he. Was he still on After getting really quiet and not making conversation until we got into the town where his mom lives, he finally asked me what was wrong. I put it to him. “Are you seeing someone else?” “No”, he replied. I help my tounge for whatever reason and pushed those feeling a side for the rest of the trip.

It wasn’t until we got back to NYC that I did something I thought I would never do. I snooped. I went through his phone while he was in the bathroom. There weren’t any dirty texts but there were a lot them. I didn’t think my heart could sink any further but it did. I didn’t know what to do so I just made up some excuse and I left. The next time I stayed over his place, I was all kinds of nervous. I was trying to figure out a way to bring this up and then the chance came. We were watching a movie and his phone buzzed. Since I was closest to it, I reached for it to hand it to him and I happened to glance at the screen. Tim ( I finally opened my mouth.

“Who is Tim?”

“Tim is my friend you met a few times,” he said. Indeed, I had met a friend of his named Tim, however that Tim was straight.

I continued to press since he had obviously lied to me and I called him out on it. He had not taken his profile down on, he told me. While I was in California, he got really lonely and went on a date with this Tim ( He said it was nothing and that I should calm down. While that discussion was over (for now), I was not calm and couldn’t sleep that night. I got up the next morning and ran to the bathroom. I puked until I couldn’t puke anymore and then I heaved some. I called out of work and went home to find my roommate and best friend in the living room. I didn’t even make it to the couch before I broke down and told her everything. Like a good friend she comforted me and gave me ice cream. I dry heaved every morning for three days. I didn’t see him or talk to him really for a few days.

To be continued…

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