Please Just Give Me Some Space!

December 5, 2013
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Plenty of people are sharing apartment blocks, just as many are sharing houses but take a moment to spare a thought for the privacy-lacking few of us sharing bedrooms in our adult lives.

Let me state first of all that this is not some sad-sack, down on my luck story, It’s out of choice rather than necessity that for the past year I have been sharing a bedroom with 19 people.

no personal space

Taking a year out of the ¨real world¨ to travel, I found myself living in a hostel which has for the most part been amazing and something I would encourage others to do during their single days. I make a point of being single because if you aren’t familiar with hostels, they are basically a smorgasbord of horny foreigners who are always up for partying/down for fucking.

At first everyone starts out with similar hang-ups. After a while trying to get dressed doing the ¨towel dance¨ becomes a waste of time and you become comfortable baring it all in front of a room of strangers. Learning to live without privacy is liberating and addictive.

As far as the downsides go, the day finally came for me to contract athlete’s foot. It was inevitable and I wish I could say that the symptoms included incredible strength, increased stamina and an ability to run long distances but all tinea is going to give you are some skanky looking toes and an itch that is only apparent once you´ve tied your laces. This kinda rules out any aquatic sexual positions that involve sitting down because you don´t want to get a case of athlete’s butt now do you?

That nicely brings me to my next point. The shower is often the only place of solace so it becomes your confessional, your place of deep thought and masturbation, but mostly, for random sex. Far from being a prude, after the shower being the only place you can have sex for a few months I did find myself saying, ¨What I wouldn´t give for plain old missionary on a mattress!¨

Depending on the relationship you have with the other cohorts, you could find yourself in some kind of sexual timeshare. With one particular group, it seemed like the sock never actually left the doorknob long enough to get washed, as we all took it in turns to fake seclusion for a quickie here and there.

I was busy with a Swiss boy in my bottom bunk one night when one of my closest pals came in. ¨Don’t mind me¨ he said and strode toward his own bed, only stopping to make some constructive criticism. ¨Mate, you can’t leave your socks on!¨ he said as he pulled them off the shocked  boy’s feet. That was a little too close for comfort but …he was right about the socks.

If this isn’t enough to convince you to throw it all in and live it up in a hostel where the privacy is non-existent but the babes are aplenty, I don’t know what is.

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