Lowdown and Dirty in the High End of Town

March 10, 2014
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It was a perfect day in late May and I was on an iced coffee mission in a bucolic section of Brooklyn, New York. It’s a neighborhood notorious for its overgrown legions of (bratty) kids and (entitled) parents, the kind of neighborhood where oblivious women with strollers stop in the middle of the sidewalk to talk to other oblivious women with strollers, and everyone else has to go around them. They’re called the Stroller Mafia.

Lowdown and Dirty in the High End of Town

Fifteen years ago this neighborhood belonged mostly to dog owners and lesbians, and lesbian dog owners. There were mom-and-pop shops and avenues that you just didn’t walk down. Now, what was once considered sketchy territory is overpopulated with toy stores and baby clothing boutiques.

I got my iced coffee at a little place directly across from Starbucks and I headed up to Prospect Park. I turned a corner and the street was to my left, lined with Subarus and Volvos. I don’t know how or why I noticed what I spotted then. A weathered old gypsy cab was parked on the street. As I walked by, I saw steamy windows. A guy leaned over from the driver’s seat to the passenger’s. Then I saw them – two bare knees pressed against the window. The driver was eating pussy in the front seat of the gypsy cab. Naturally, I slowed down to get a better look. His head come up for air for a second, his face red and wet with cum, and then he went back down for more.

I kept walking ever so slowly. Though I would’ve been embarrassed to get caught watching, man, I really wanted to. I paused when I got a couple of cars ahead of them and thought about going back. I couldn’t believe what I’d just seen. On a tree-lined block in one of the most sought-after neighborhoods, where brownstones go for US$2m, they were totally going for it – and in the middle of the day.

I called the guy I was seeing at the time to tell him what I’d just seen. “That’s so hot,” he said. “I know,” I said. “I’m coming over.”

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