Ken Cuccunelli Wants to Ban Anal and Oral Sex

December 5, 2013
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Back in 2003, the Supreme Court ruled that sodomy laws were unconstitutional. Hooray! You can now have all the anal and oral sex you’ve always wanted. But before you get the lube and the flavored condoms out, you should know that there are some conservative minded politicians out there looking to ruin your good time. Take Virginia Attorney General and gubernatorial candidate, Ken Cuccinelli. He doesn’t like butt sex.

US justice

Ok, I get it. Not everyone likes to go in through the backdoor. That’s fine BUT (big but) he also doesn’t like blowjobs. What, what, what? What guy doesn’t like to have someone go down on him every now and then, especially if you’re married?

AG Cuccinelli not only dislikes these forms of sex between consenting adults but he wants everyone not to partake in them either. As Amanda Marcotte reported for Slate this summer, Ken Cuccunelli wants to ban oral and anal sex by reinstating Virginia’s sodomy laws. Now before you feel bad for the put-upon citizen of Virginia, you must know that before he can reinstate the laws, he has to get permission from the Supreme Court because they were the ones who said sodomy laws were unconstitutional. He petitioned the high court for this and as MSNBC reported earlier this month the highest court in the land told him, No thanks, Ken. We have better things to do with our time. They denied his petition for the court to hear his case to reinstate the law.

Now it’s my belief that the Republican Party wants a limited and small form of government. They want that pesky government out of our lives. Don’t tell us what do government. I mean if we can’t have oral and anal sex then what? They will most certainly come for our guns next! How un-American! Not only un-American… how hypocritical. Ken, you can’t have it both ways (no pun intended). You either want government out of our private lives or you don’t. I too want government out of my private life. I don’t think the government has a right to tell two consenting adults they can’t suck each other off. And don’t give me this bullshit about protecting our kids. That’s just a smokescreen. So I say this to you Ken… Get your hands off my guns and your mind out of my bedroom. There’s a reason you’re slipping in the polls for governor. No one likes a party pooper.

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