If you’re like me, and I think you and I are a lot alike, Internet, then you value some “healthy” competition whilst shoveling booze into your system. Drinking games can often be the best part of any get-together where beers, wine, shots, absinthe, and more beers are involved. But most conventional drinking games can become stale after a few rounds, so why not gather together your most insane drinkin’ pals and make your party, barbecue, or night out epic?
Because I love fun and a wee bit of liver damage – you know, just enough to keep your body on its toes – I’ve compiled for you some of the most insane drinking games you can play, each making King’s Cup and Beer Pong (or Beirut, if you know what I’m talking about) look like child’s play [warning: drink responsibility, put all your car keys in a ziplock bag, and then bury the bag, leaving a note of its location in the fridge]. Some of these are real, while some of these should be.
Bear Paw
This game is insane, and from Russia. All you have to do is get a pint glass, enough beer to go around, and a goddamn bottle of vodka. What happens is you fill the glass with beer, and pass it around. Each person that takes a sip pours the equivalent of vodka in the glass until, by the end of this insane cycle, you have a glass of vodka. Keep passing and filling with the opposing liquor. If you survive, then you win.
Drunkards of Catan
Shots chess is a thing, so why not everyone’s favorite board game to play in your 20s? Basically, all it takes is playing the real game, but designating a different booze for each resource. Every time you get a resource, sip or shoot that booze, and finish your drink when someone places the thief on one of your hexagons. If anyone actually wins this game, then you have enough fortitude to play Bear Paw.
The Forrest Gump Game
I love movie drinking games, and none is so easily played as the Forrest Gump game. With The Big Lebowski, mirroring the Dude will get you stoned and drunk, but watching Tom Hanks bumble about as Forrest will leave your brain and liver devastated. Important drinking rules to follow include: every time Forrest stumbles into history, every time he’s told to run, and every time he gets rejected by Jenny. The most important rule is that there are no rules, except for you have to take a double shot whenever you are emotionally moved.
Power Hour
This is more like a pre-game for crazy people, but I love it all the same. To play, give each player six beers and a shot glass. The rules state you need 60 minutes of music, each song on the mix lasting one minute, but if you can’t have that, then you’ll still be able to play. Set a timer to go off once a minute, and then drink a shot of beer every minute for the hour. If you’re sober at the end of this, power up the DVD machine and go watch Forrest run.
Hammerschlagen
This is a reason to love Germany. To play, get a stump and a nail for every player. Put the nails barely in the stump and pass around the hammer, taking turns to try to smash your nail in. A miss equals a big swig of your drink (or a shot, if you hate yourself), hitting your nail in first means everyone has to drink, and being the final slob to drive the nail in means buying the next round for everyone. Seriously insane and awesome.
Beer of Thrones
This is a little ditty of my own creation. Get a big goblet and fill it with mead, or the manliest beer available. Put it in the center of the room, and the game is afoot. Whoever holds the beer must be drinking from it at all times, and is the Lord of Drunkenly Rock. When the beer is empty, you put it in the center of the room, and everyone else has to be watching to snatch up the cup, fill it with mead or beer, and drink it. There are no rules, actually, besides that the cup must be in someone’s hands at all times and that you can get your hands on that cup by any means necessary. Pushing your friend out a window after telling them you love their sister is called winning.
