A month long celebration of masturbation came and went, but the fine folks still looking to change the conversation, to change the game, regarding the seemingly shameful activity known as “jerking off,” are still out there doing their fine work.
In May, BaDoink was pleased to publish a feature video interview with the esteemed cam performer LittleRedBunny, where she spoke about dispelling the many myths connected to masturbation in present society, and the confusing event that is getting to know one’s own body down to each pleasurable detail.
During International Masturbation Month, the award winning cam model, known as The Queen of Cam Girls to many, was kind enough to sit down – via the magic of Skype – with me after her initial interview with BaDoink and chat at length about masturbation, cultural taboos, the life of a cam performer, and many other topics to enrich your life, both intellectually and sexually.
LittleRedBunny has been a unique face on LiveJasmin for over six years, with a creative and personal approach to camming. With a burlesque and old-timey speakeasy feel to her performances and persona, it’s no wonder that LittleRedBunny has garnered success in the field, and continues to do so.
Enjoy this edited (with love) account of our conversation below.
Tell me about who you are as a performer and the things you do as a performer and also how you got into being a model and being in the industry.
I actually started six years ago. I’ve won a few awards already. Three of them for Best Cam Girl of the year. I started randomly by curiosity to see if I would like it or not and here I am six years later. I wanted to give myself at least a week or so to give it a chance because at first there were a lot of unexpected things and I actually liked it so I increased my amount of hours pretty fast and it didn’t take long until I was doing it full time. I have a unique style and method, which I think is what made me known because it’s kind of like hosting a party at my house, but it’s online. People feel like it’s a speakeasy because I always wear lingerie and I talk and attract a lot of people while I’m dancing. I have a lot of regulars that come back every night or a few nights a week. It’s mostly teasing and if people want to have a more personal interaction with me, that can be either by talking or by doing sexual play that happens in private so it’s only one on one and its more intimate.
What was it that initially got you interested and what were those first experiences like? It’s always very different than you’d expect and a lot more like a job than people would expect.
Yeah, you know it’s funny because even after six years I never refer to it as a job. Even though I do it full time, really full time. There’s always someone coming in no matter what time it is. It didn’t take long until I just had no sense of time and I would think, “Oh my God, I’ve been online for like 12 hours. Maybe I should go to sleep.” When I started I was much more shy. I hadn’t developed my style yet. I didn’t have room to move either, because I started on my couch in my living room and I was not showing my face. I wasn’t even talking. I was just typing in free chat and then eventually I was playing music. If they wanted to hear my voice, they would have to go private with me because I was very shy and in private they would hear my voice and eventually I showed them my face and then I moved to a room where I could actually have a bed and that’s where I started to really move around much more. I was becoming more refined from those years on. I’m an active person and I like when something is going on and I figured I don’t have this super top model body so I’ve got to come up with something to keep people interested to at least stick around in my room and so that’s how I made sure my personality really grew through what I was doing. I didn’t take more time to look into what other girls were doing online so I was very, very shocked when I actually won those awards.
Was it a shock too that you affected so many people, that so many people had found you and interacted with you and you had proliferated throughout the internet?
I was very, very flattered because I always thought I was kind of underground just because of my style. I thought I was more specific to a little niche of people and even though I knew I was growing more and more popular on the site over the years, I did not expect people would have taken the time to vote. People can appreciate you, but to go out of their way to actually vote, it’s just really flattering to win this and it’s nice.
If you were to explain and describe the persona that you perform for people, how would you describe that and is it a very different person than you are in real life or are you being or are you not performing as much as just kind of is more like existing in the space you’re comfortable in?
I know that some people work online and they decide that’s it’s going to be a persona as you say and they try to keep it in addition to who they really. For me, I think it’s only a window to a part of me. In real life, I’m not someone who tries to get attention in public. I’m very low key. I sit in the corner in a quiet place where I can actually talk with a few people. I’m more the type to observe and have little conversations. I’m not going to tease in real life either and I’m very, very private with a lot of my own life, especially with sexuality and all this. A little more conservative I guess, but I was always curious when I was younger. It was fun to actually start to buy stuff and play around with it and get into that dimension and share it publicly. What happens in my bedroom is my own business. I know some people are real open about it, but I was more private so this really got extended online and again I tried to keep it to this sphere.
Doing the work that you do, what have you discovered about sexuality and not just your own, but the sexuality of the people who you work with? I want to know your observations and things that you’ve learned and what you’ve taken away so far and what you can tell people that they might not know about sexuality from not having this experience or not expressing themselves in this way.
Like I said, I don’t see it as a job even though it is. I never really perceived it this way. I never did porn and never was going down that road. I don’t consider what I do as really porn even though there are a lot of ingredients that can be in porn. Like I said, I don’t do the sexual work in the free chat area and I think some people approach it as more kind of interactive porn. Sometimes they’re sexual to get closer to me. The Internet somehow brings people even closer together. The fact that you can be anonymous also lets people be more open and more free with their fantasies. I sometimes reassure them that they’re not the only ones who have those particular fantasies, so they can feel comfortable with that. The world’s sexuality is really wide. There’s a lot of variety out there and that really opened my mind. I try to actually really enjoy what I do all the time. Even if someone has a fantasy that I’m a little less familiar with, what I really enjoy and find challenging is to find my way to pleasure myself and to meet both our personalities and our fantasies together.
Let’s talk a little bit about masturbation. I’d say that the majority of people look at masturbation or look at media that inspires you to do that as shameful. It’s seemingly either shameful or it could be seen as a failure to not be doing that with another person.
You know, where it actually comes from, hard to tell. The whole guilt trip is very strange and I think everybody grew up with it, to be ashamed of it. It’s your body. You should know it. You’ve got to get to know yourself to become a more complete person when you grow up and it’s not just to know your personality and your psychology. It has to be physical too. Now it’s a big trend, body and soul. Your sexuality is part of it too. I think to be in harmony with yourself, you have to understand that. Otherwise you become repressed. Having orgasms is a stress reliever. It’s important. It works with your endorphins. You have to know what you like, what pleases you; what you don’t like too much you have to explore and you develop that intimacy with yourself and I think it makes relationships much stronger and you can give much more if you give to yourself before. If you take that time to have that relationship with yourself, it’s going to make you less selfish because you know how to have your own pleasure and you know how to direct the person to discover what is pleasurable to you.
In media, masturbation is taboo; some people have fantasies and they don’t always accept them. They’re not always willing to share it with their real life partner. Sometimes let’s say they would be curious to have a threesome, but sometimes the fantasy is hard, but to actually do it is a whole different idea and you think that would be hot, but when you do it you’re totally turned off because you actually don’t want to share your partner. Sometimes I think again it’s a good way to test the ground to do it virtually so I have a couple with me and see how already they’re reacting to sharing his way and meanwhile here it’s all masturbation. What I do is the perfect crossroad between being alone with your sexuality and sharing it with someone, a partner, in real life. The touching and all the senses are real.
So how should education change towards masturbation? I think that there’s a lot more happening with sex, and masturbation is still a topic that’s just a little bit embarrassing.
I think in the first place you have to understand that before being civilized humans, we are and always have been and always will be animals. We have these instincts. There’s the body exploration that happens before you’re even five years old and then there’s other phases as you grow up, there’s already so much that teenagers go through just by discovering their bodies changing and it’s hard to accept these changes for some. Some are excited by it. Some are traumatized by it. You have to go through this and sexuality is a big part of it and I think if you have a respectful relationship with yourself and your body and your sexuality, it’s going to make you grow. If you don’t repress it, you’re actually going to be a happier person because your endorphins are always going to be balanced out and you’re going to have your stress relieved and then when you are actually going to have sex with someone, you won’t bring all that repression.
It might change how you’re actually going to give your sexuality because all of your fantasies are often based on your experience as a person psychologically. I think it’s important to explore that, just like with anger. If someone has anger issues, they have to explore them, because there’s a way to turn them into something good. You do not just repress the anger, you make something good out of it. I think sexuality is the same thing. You have to play with it and you have to know how to use it for good. You have to face it and not pretend it’s not there and you have to grow up with it.
There would be less sexual aggression if more people either masturbated more frequently or didn’t think that it was a failure, like a sexual failure to masturbate rather than have sex. People put a value judgment on different sexual acts and events, where there’s nothing lost by masturbating versus there’s nothing wrong with being rejected by someone. It just means that sexual energy is not aligned at that time. People put so much of their identity into sexuality and into the success of their sexuality that they’re not able to view their sexuality in a good way I think.
In terms of masturbation in couples, once a girl told me she never had an orgasm and everybody was blaming the guy. She was saying she never had an orgasm and everybody turned to the guy and was like what the hell is wrong with you and it got me thinking what’s wrong with the girl. Like how can you blame a guy for someone never having an orgasm? First of all, you should have done it by yourself before by exploring yourself and if it doesn’t work out in bed, it’s maybe because you never did that part of the job to discover yourself. You could give more to that other person and then you would have plenty of orgasms with that other person. This is also something that should be part of your lifestyle and regimen. This is part of your body and you need to take care of it so yeah, there are girls that are afraid to put something inside because they’re like “what if I lose them inside”, like at the worst, you can go pick them out you know. I find that quite funny. There’s a real lack of education there. We’re being told that it’s dirty or it’s not okay, so I think that’s a reason. Girls don’t take the time to discover their whole body and I think part of it is because it’s internal too. So there is a difference between girls and guys in masturbation development I think.
It seems like there’s still this great discord between the masturbation event and the sex event especially for guys, especially for straight males who think masturbation is just kind of like the toning of it. It’s almost not sexual. It’s almost like it’s not erotic to men I think.
Well sometimes they get the urge and they have to get it out. Masturbation is critical in their training and they have to actually build up and not just let go, like not waste it all. There’s guys that can do it many times a day or for a very long time and they’re actually going to like riding that plateau that they get. There’s something where you just have to get it out to get it out and other times it’s a whole sexual event. There are guys telling me that sometimes, like when you’re in a long term relationship, and the girl won’t take the time to masturbate, so I tell them “why don’t you buy her a toy” and again, people think it’s like cheating. I think there’s times, as a sex partner, you have to be kind and knowing that it’s ok to pleasure yourself even if it is not with the partner, and it doesn’t take away anything that is between both of you. It can be used as a build up too, to tease yourself and then tease your partner. The couple are actually going to use the toy on the girl and use part of the masturbation as a warm up thing and then go towards the sexual thing and there are a lot of girls that never have the courage to actually buy a toy and do their own exploration so sometimes if the girls seems to not be enjoying as much in bed and stuff like that, well you know maybe she just is not a sexual person off the bat and so just suggest to get her a toy and sometimes make the girl feel like it’s okay for her to do it and to actually have her own sexual time for herself. You know like with any couple, there are moments where you have to do things on your own. You have to remain an individual and not just be a couple. I think it makes a relationship richer so I think sexuality is probably the same thing. Keep exploring and have your moment alone with yourself. Even sexually I think it is a healthy thing.
What kind of things can fans expect and as an artist as well as a performer and someone who is working in the sex field, what do you want to achieve for yourself and what do you want to achieve for the industry?
You know, that’s a big question. I was just thinking about all the things I said before. I realize that this, what I do, has a much bigger impact; I really grew as a person so I’m thankful for this just because people had enough trust in me to actually share so much, sometimes sexually and sometimes personally. There are people who are shy or less confident, and because they share with me and they get my point of view, they get to see that other point of view and approach it with their life partner or other people. Also, didn’t expect to win these awards, but I won them and it allowed me to travel and to start going to conventions. I never expected to talk about what I do outside of my room. The first time I actually went in public to conventions and events, it was a big thing for me. Like I said, I’m more shy in real life. I don’t know where all of this is going to bring me. Right now I’m following the flow and I’m more comfortable now with interacting with the mainstream or people from the industry to talk about what I do and to work on myself as well. I don’t know where that’s going to go. I hope it’s going to keep going a nice way, but I’m not sure the direction that’s going to take.
Yeah, I think there’s a big, big difference between cam girls and girls that work in the porn industry. Cam girls are being put automatically in the porn basket, which I find strange just because it’s sexually related. What is required of you is very different and what’s involved is very different. I mean already we’re being stereotyped and judged kind of harshly by the media, and I find it disappointing. I think most of the girls are just simple girls too and like I said, what’s involved is so different and, what I do anyway, for me there is a big artistic aspect to it too. There’s a lot of interaction with the people so it’s very person to person. It’s social interaction so there’s the big social aspect to it and yes there’s a sexual one, but again it’s just me masturbating and touching myself. No one touches me and that’s why everybody asks “do you want to do porn, do you want to do porn” and I’m happy interacting live with people and I’m happy being the one touching myself and keeping my sexuality for myself. I don’t sell my real sexuality. I still have something totally private and personal and that’s why I can do the cam work. That’s why it’s comfortable for me while pornography would be hard because then I would actually have to have a stranger, an actor, touching me and that’s a whole different ball game. It’s all artistic, so I find it hard sometimes when I see how people judge us, but at times I think people are actually just ignorant. They wouldn’t be that judgmental if they knew more. They would actually understand and see what it is really is.