As I get older, I have to confess, I find it a tad bit more difficult to make and keep friends. And this is coming from the loud talking, cackling, can-talk-to-anyone Lola Lovely. So I find it understandable when guys tell me it’s hard to make adult, male friends as they grow older. It might have been easy in school or college and even at work. But times are a changing and people drift apart. New friendships need to be made. But how do you approach another guy to be his friend when you don’t have things like school or work tying you together?
Take it slow
No seriously. You might notice that a cool looking dude hangs out at the same place you hang out in (say a cafe) but if you pounce on him without a, “Hey what’s up?” and ask him to hang, it might sound too much like a date. You might want to start off testing the waters with a, “Wow, the game last night eh?”
If you see that he’s reciprocating the conversation, use that as a cue to start another one the next time. When you get familiar, you can take it further, perhaps asking him to hang to watch the game at the bar you go to, or for some drinks, or even forwarding him stupid emails – but not all at once.
Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do while wooing a girl
My guy friends say it’s a lot harder to make friends with a guy than trying to woo a girl. At least with the girl both parties know what the end goal is. But with a guy, it’s hard to tell if he’s just being friendly or is interested in more. So their advice is not to do the things you wouldn’t do with girls such as:
No self invites
At least not until you’re certain you’re both bros now. In the beginning, don’t invite yourself over unless he specifically invites you.
That’s just creepy dude. Have some self respect!
If you’re in the gym, suggest going out for a bite to eat. Or even some after work drinks. This way you get to know the dude outside of the situation you met him in. It opens the doorway to getting to know each other better and perhaps be the start of a great broship.
We hope that these tips help you find your bro friends. Be sure to read about the 5 types of male friends every guy should have!