I am a big champion of friendship. I’m not talking about the friendship where you go party together over the weekend, or someone you meet at work. I’m talking about the deep connections that take you from mere friends to BFFs. The kind of person who knows you in and out, will stand by you and will also tell you like it is if you need it! If we’re lucky we have a few of these throughout our lives. Friendships like these work both ways and require nurturing in order for them to grow. Here are a few ways how to maintain your friendships:
Make some effort
Showing up at their party with a bottle of wine doesn’t cut it. Making an effort in your friendship is like planting a tree, the more you tend to it, the more it blossoms. Showing your friends that you’ve been thinking of them (I love it when friends recommend books to me because they know I will like it), making time to meet up, inviting them over to hang out and generally making space for them in your life all sow the seeds of friendship.
There are friends that I just don’t turn to in times of trouble. These are usually my party friends. My true friends I know will always be there for me no matter what. They don’t bail in the last minute unless there is an absolute great reason to do so (and no, a date with a new gal isn’t one of them). Being reliable shows that you care about the person and value them as people.
Cut them some slack
We’re all human, and there are times when we can do stupid things. True friends cut each other some slack. I’m not talking about cutting people who take advantage of you, who are energy vampires, who are venomous or bad for you some slack. I’m talking about letting some things like, if she’s had a bad day and snaps, or if he forgets something some time, or is late or doesn’t reply to an email in a timely manner. It’s not necessarily about you or about their character. True friends know that there are other contributing factors to why their friends sometimes act this way and give way for that.
My mum always told me, “I tell you these things because I love you and because no one else will,” She meant she would ask me the hard questions, or tell me if my dress is too tight, or if my breath smelled bad (hey it happens!), or if I’m seeing the wrong guy but can’t see it, all the stuff that usually people are too polite to mention or don’t care enough to mention. Friends want the best for you and will be able to be honest with themselves and you.
Kiss and make up
Sure you can get into fights some time, and being friends things like this can hurt even more than if you were to fight with a stranger. That’s human. What matters more is that you set pride aside and work to repair the situation. Taking responsibility and owning up to your mistakes.
Ah assumption! What an ass it can make out of you and me. How many problems could be solved if one stopped assuming and just straight up asked the person. This is a trait of true friends. Rather than hearing if from the grapevine, they trust their friends and never assume the worst.
Hope these tips will help you solidify your friendships! Good luck!