We’ve all been there. A movie promises to be the most awesome thing since the Big Bang and instead turns out to be an enjoyment black hole…

1. Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace

the phantom menace

After years and years of waiting, George Lucas had to go and turn the Force into some wacky, depressing science project. Also, Jar Jar Binks?

2. The Hobbit

the hobbit

Sure, the LOTR trilogy was a smashing success, but making the beloved Tolkien novel The Hobbit into a three part, bloated action movie? Smooth move, Peter Jackson. 

3. The second two Matrix movies

matrix reloaded

The first film was innovative and rad, so the second two were expected to be at least a little awesome. Too much stupid slow motion and not enough actual acting.

4. The Dark Knight Rises

batman

Bane turned out to be a sappy letdown and the whole giant bomb plot was really dumb. Also, was Batman fighting against an occupy Gotham movement?

5. Tron Legacy

tron legacy

Nerds all over the place rejoiced at the idea of more Tron, but Disney gave us a visually stagnant, very two-dimensional story with double the mediocre Jeff Bridges.

6. Terminator III: Rise of the Machines

terminator 3

I’ll admit, this one wasn’t expected to be amazing, but sights were set higher than this poorly acted, overly stupid sequel. At least now we know that robots know to make their breasts bigger.

7. Spiderman 3

spiderman 3

Venom was ruined forever by the third installment in the Spiderman franchise, and Tobey Maguire made every emo kid realize the error of their ways.

8. X-Men First Class

x-men first class

The expectations for this were really high, but ultimately it was stylistically overdone and the mutants chosen were nonsense of the highest order. 

9. The Hunger Games

the hunger games

Suzanne Collins’s story should have translated better to film, but whoever decided to adapt the wildly popular novels decided to induce seizures with their editing and choose a weird cast.

10. Inside Llewyn Davis

inside llewyn davis

Actually, I really like this film, but it should have been far, far better, especially with the hype around it. But maybe that was Hollywood’s fault, not the Coen brothers’ (sorry, favorite filmmakers).

3 Comments

  1. Not sure The Dark Knight Rises deserves to be in the list. The Dark Knight was a pretty tough act to follow in all honesty.

    Die Hard 4 should certainly be in the list. A disgrace.

  2. well I think T3 delivered – I really did not expect to see inflating boobs 😀

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