There are certain things in life I think I would enjoy more if they had been around when I was a bit younger. It’s like reading Catcher in the Rye, or listening to Black Flag’s Damaged album; if you’re a teenager with all the angst, entitlement and overall reckless behavior that tends to come with that age, you’re going to love those things. If you happen to encounter them for the first time when you’re a few years older, you might think they’re self-righteous, juvenile and any other adjective we use to undermine the remnants of our pre-adulthood.
Sometimes, though, it’s not necessarily about that, but a quality-based opinion. As we grow older we want better things, we find ourselves in a quest for consuming the best of something. Practicality matters, but only to a certain point, as we seldom compromise the standards we set for ourselves as “grown ups.”
That’s why it was bittersweet for me to hear about Palcohol, a new form of powdered alcohol that was recently approved in the United States by the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau (TTB.) The prepared mix is ready to go. Add five ounces of liquid and that’s equal to a standard mixed drink.
It comes in six different flavors. The first two are meant to be used as pure alcoholic beverages with the equivalent of a shot of booze. “V” is made from four time-distilled vodka and “R” is made from Puerto Rican rum. Then they have four other cocktail options: Mojito, Cosmopolitan, Powderita (their Margarita version) and Lemon Drop. Each package weighs about an ounce, and it’s small enough to fit any pocket.
Look, I can see the practical side of it…
It’s just not the way I drink anymore, and that sort of bums me out. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll try it, and at the end of a casual night, if offered, I would no doubt go for it repeatedly. But it feels a little too weird to dissolve your booze. If I was already annoyed by bottled mojito mixes being sold in supermarkets, this takes it to a whole new level.
Having said that, if you’re camping or going somewhere with low alcohol availability and need to travel lightly, this will solve a huge problem. It can also be quite handy for festivals, booze-free venues and other inconvenient locations to get your drink on.
And because they are very aware of their target demographic (this was also one of the first things I thought of) a sort of hilarious disclaimer was included on their website: “We have seen comments about goofballs wanting to snort it. Don’t do it! It is not a responsible or smart way to use the product. To take precautions against this action, we’ve added volume to the powder so it would take more than a half of a cup of powder to get the equivalent of one drink up your nose. You would feel a lot of pain for very little gain. Just use it the right way.”
Palcohol is expected to hit liquor stores by this fall. I am expected to drink it more than I’d like to admit and then complain about it.