Henry Deltoid’s Beer Review: Mexican Cake

November 21, 2013
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HOLY FUCKING SHIT! This is a BEER, and so much more. This is one of those rare treats that slaps you on your cock (or clitoris if appropriate) and says, “LOOK AT ME! You haven’t had anything like me lately, have you?” It is a 10.5% ABV, malty imperial stout brewed with cocoa nibs, vanilla beans, cinnamon, and habanero peppers.

Mexican cakeThis is slightly chewy, sticky, dark (almost black), and creamy. The pour leaves a velvety 1-2 finger thick, dark tan head with minimal lacing. It smells of vanilla, roasted malt, caramel, coffee and a hint of fermentation (i.e. BEER, you fool). It does boast of all the flavors listed on the label, but the extremely notable quality of this beer is the habanero. I am a huge fan of spice due to the enormity of my genitalia, and this beer is SPICY. It burns the back of your throat and it really gives it a unique flavor and sensation. The cinnamon is subtle, but provides the perfect segue between the malty goodness of the stout and the heat of the habanero. If you like spicy foods then this is a must have. If you have sensitivity to strong pepper (like a spicy buffalo wing sauce) then not only are you a pansy, but you may not like this beer at all. So, if that is the case, kindly spit it back out into the bottle like a fellatio amateur, duct tape the opening on the bottle shut, and mail it to me. I’ll drink it. It’s that good.

The stout qualities are all there. This is a strong brew although you wouldn’t guess so by the flavor of it. It is thick and the spices leap out and fizz in your mouth when you take it in, but it is shockingly drinkable. It’s one of those beers that you finish and say, “SON OF A BITCH!!! I have none left! This sucks! INSOLENT WOMAN, GO BUY ME ANOTHER!” and you playfully slap your significant other in the tits and goose her juicy tushie to let her know you mean business. You then kiss her affectionately on the cheek and say, “Thank you, dear. I love you.” And when the door shuts behind her you turn a menacing eye to that empty bottle and quietly say, “But I love you more.” This requires the twirling of a waxed mustache between the thumb and forefinger for the full desired effect.

This is a true “craft beer” in every sense of the word. The craft movement is about pushing the boundaries of flavor and intensity. Westbrook is only about 2.5 years old. Their staff is small and they look like they should be playing Call of Duty and drinking PBR. Wild experimentation can make or break the reputation of a small and/or new brew team, but these guys nailed it out of the park with this particular beer. They are either mad geniuses or tripped and fell one late evening after an egregious amount of resin hits and unintentionally concocted what I hope to see re-released every year until I am a corpse. Let’s hope they can keep on impressing me with their offerings as their brewery grows.
The unfortunate truth surrounding this brew is that it is an anniversary limited edition beer that is extremely difficult to find. I recommend you contact Westbrook directly for more information. I know I will.

*Style: 10/10 *Overall: 10/10
*Assuming you like spicy foods, are not afraid of spiders and don’t need to sleep with the night-light on.

The Deltoid has spoken!

Henry Deltoid’s Beer Review: Mexican Cake 2 votes

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