Henry Deltoid’s Beer Review: Sixpoint Global Warmer

January 3, 2015
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Henry Deltoid's Beer Review: Sixpoint Global Warmer

Beer number two that I am reviewing from the gifted 6 pack mixer my Mama gave me for Christmas is by Sixpoint out of Brooklyn, NY. “70 IBU,” says the can’s label. When I saw that I instantly thought “IPA”. And because I thought “IPA” my brain followed up with, “Aaaaaand… now I have a boner.” 70 is pretty fucking hoppy. And unless it’s a malt-heavy brew (like a stout) those bitterness sensors on the tongue are going to stand at full attention, like my penis when I see Jennifer Aniston soaking wet. But it is not an IPA. From Sixpoint’s website it is described as “a new sort of winter warmer for a changing globe.” The term “winter warmer” would lead a connoisseur of the fine craft brewing arts to the belief it’s an English style winter seasonal (perhaps with spices), with a heavy emphasis on the malt, and a relatively low IBU rating. But several trusted sources on the internet have it listed not as a winter warmer, but as an American amber, which is similar to a winter warmer, but with a more commonly found hop forward character in addition to toasted malt.

So… What exactly is the Sixpoint “Global Warmer”? It’s reddish. It’s a winter seasonal. It has toasted malts. It is quite hoppy. I think I’ll call it… BEER. And it’s a damned fine one at that. It is an all-encompassing beer, but with its hop character I recommend you tread lightly if you are hypersensitive to hops. But then again, if you are hypersensitive to hops I recommend you stick to wine, cosmopolitans, martinis, and eating chocolate ice cream while watching Sex and the City; because your tongue ought to be punched in the FACE.

I shall first lodge my only complaint about this beer: the flavor is a tad on the weak side. With all its awesomeness it would without a doubt be a perfect beer if the flavor engaged my palate more. For a 7.0% ABV brew I don’t expect it put on a ski-mask and rape my tongue, but I do feel entitled to an affectionate pounding. Is that too much to ask? I have needs!

Henry Deltoid's Beer Review: Sixpoint Global Warmer

Now that I have gotten that scorned wife’s complaint out of the way, I shall focus on its orgasmic properties (and there are many). The liquid is mostly dark gold but with a strongly pronounced reddish tint. It has an excellent and powerful aroma: passion fruit, melon, lime, and malt. Its head is a big, fluffy, cuddly pile of bright white fermented foam. At first the flavor is clean, refreshing, and malty; with grapefruit, pear, sweet melons, caramelized sugar and a tiny pinch of cocoa. It finishes on the bitter side and the aftertaste plows through like a tornado through a trailer park, with a perfect hoppy flavor assortment of grass and pine, and a noticeable hop character that flexes with bitterness but lets the hop cones lead the charge. There’s nothing special about the texture; it is fairly watery with a moderate amount of cream. It’s smooth. And the lacing is a low level dash here and there of small splotches.

Overall this brew is a superbly balanced and fresh assortment of melon, citrus, malt, and quality hop cone righteousness. The flavor profile package is a Christmas gift basket within the Christmas gift basket of beer that my Mama gave me. And if her titty milk tasted like this I don’t give a damn if those cackling harpies of The View would screech at me for an hour on their show; I’d still be nursing.

Sixpoint “Global Warmer”

Beer Type: American Amber/Red Ale

ABV: 7.0%

IBU: 70

Style: 9/10

Overall: 8.5/10

The Deltoid has spoken.

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