Once, Twice… Three Times A Lady!

September 25, 2014
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We all remember that scene from Arnie’s Total Recall with the three-boobed lady… and yeah, we all wished we had three hands at that point.

So when it looked as if every man’s sci-fi sex fantasy had come true, it was no shock that a large part of the world sat up and took notice.

It all began when a YouTube video posted by Jasmine Tridevil, from Orlando, Florida (surprisingly not her real name), purported to show the new-fangled tri-titted beauty in all her glory:

As an inevitable public furore grew, Miss Tridevil told a local radio station that not only had the operation cost a cool $20,000 but also over 50 doctors refused until one unscrupulous sawbones allegedly relented and performed the unprecedented procedure.

Her reasons for the op? To appear “less attractive” to men. This girl really doesn’t know her sci-fi!

Over the course of a couple of days the story was seized by social media and Tridevil held court with the UK’s Sun newspaper and infamous German tabloid Bild.

Once, Twice... Three Times A Lady!

With a certain inevitability, the internet’s super-sleuths began to dig. Buzzfeed and Jezebel led the charge, citing the fact that Tridevil had only shown off her extra appendage with clothes on as well as noticeable differences in skin tone. The UK’s Daily Telegraph published the seemingly-overkill ‘5 Reasons Why The Woman With Three Breasts Is Probably a Hoax’.

And this is where the plot thickens, tenderizes and provides a fantastic three course meal… “Jasmine Tridevil” was found to be the pseudonym of Alisha Hessler, the owner of a Florida massage parlor that not only claimed to be “a specialist in massage for three breasted women” but also the “provider of internet hoaxes since 2014.”

Hessler had also made the news in December 2013 when she claimed to have been assaulted in the street and gave her attacker a choice: face arrest or stand in the street for eight hours in a dunce cap and a sign proclaiming “I beat women – Honk if I’m a scumbag.”

Despite facing criticism from domestic violence charities for trivializing such a sensitive issue, Ms Hessler was unrepentant in her actions.

So who are we to believe? Have we finally entered the realm of such extreme body modification? Or is Alisha Hessler simply a hyperactive prankster with too much time and access to technology?

We don’t really have to spell it out… do we?

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