If life hasn’t been creepy enough for you lately, set your eye holes on this piece of news. Kim Jong-un is now casting women to be part of his ‘pleasure troupe’ of personal singers, maids and exotic dancers. You know, the classy stuff. That’s ok, I’ll give you a minute to recover and check to see if your daughter is still asleep in her bedroom.
Apparently following in his father Kim Jong-II’s footsteps, the supreme leader, husband, and father to his baby daughter, has found a loophole in North Korean tradition established by Kim Senior. He’s wasted no time in sending out government officials to scour the land to find the prettiest of them all to be a part of his harem.
The old troupe that served his father was disbanded not long after the death of Kim senior, but now that the mourning period is over, Kim junior is free to create a troupe of his own. One that is loyal to him, on account of all the shenanigans that these women will witness I’m sure. Kim junior looks like he could get really freaky in bed, but I’m sure he doesn’t want to shed the ‘prowessful’ but still vanilla image he has of himself. He’s strong and virile as a horse, but still, he won’t fuck a horse.
“After he came to power, Mr. Kim trusted no-one and ordered thorough investigations into every official in the regime, from the highest to the lowest,” Toshimitsu Shigemura, a professor at Tokyo’s Waseda University and an authority on North Korean affairs, told The Telegraph. “The women who entertained his father knew many secrets and they have now been ordered to promise not to reveal any information before being sent back to their home towns,” Prof. Shigemura said.
Girls as young as 13 or 14 will now be recruited for ‘government missions’ to serve the nation’s leader, and parents will have no say in the matter – even if they did suspect what was really happening. Most of these girls will work as maids, singers and dancers, but the prettiest of the lot will become concubines to the elite. Those who ‘retire’ in their 20s will sometimes be married off to military officers looking for brides.
“This has been going on under three generations of the Kim family ruling North Korea and it has become a tradition that is also a demonstration of the leader’s power over the people and his sexual power,” Prof. Shigemura said.
Well until I see some freaky sexy action coming from the venerable leader, I won’t believe it. I want some spanking and maybe even a gimp suit. So yeah, your move Kimmie!